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Episode 248: Stop Beating Yourself Up About Money

There’s a moment that happens for so many entrepreneurs – usually after something small.

You overspend. You forget something. You look at your numbers and feel that familiar drop in your stomach. And almost instantly, your mind goes to: “I should be better at this by now.”

It’s subtle, but it’s constant.
The pressure. The judgment. The quiet way you turn yourself into the problem.

And over time, that voice becomes so normal… you don’t even question it.

But what if the thing keeping you stuck with money isn’t what you’re doing –
it’s how you’re talking to yourself about it?

In this episode, we’re looking at the pattern underneath the numbers. The shame, the self-criticism, and the way it quietly pulls you out of clarity, consistency, and trust with yourself.

Not to fix it.
Just to start seeing it differently.

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How Self-Criticism Is Keeping You Stuck With Money (And What to Do Instead)

If You Feel Like You Keep Getting in Your Own Way With Money…

There’s a moment that happens for a lot of entrepreneurs.

You make a money decision that doesn’t go as planned. Maybe you overspend, forget something, or avoid your numbers longer than you meant to. And almost immediately, your mind goes to:
“I should be better at this by now.”

From there, it spirals.

You start questioning yourself. Judging yourself. Wondering why this still feels so hard when you know what to do.

If that feels familiar, this isn’t actually about your budgeting system or your financial strategy.

It’s about the way you’re relating to yourself in those moments.

And that’s the part that often gets missed.

Why Self-Criticism Feels So Automatic

It’s Not Something You’re Actively Choosing

For most people, self-criticism isn’t loud or obvious.

It’s subtle. It’s patterned. And over time, it becomes so normal that you don’t even notice it’s happening.

You might tell yourself:

“I should be further along by now”
“I know better than this”
“Why do I keep doing this?”

It sounds like accountability.

But underneath it, there’s usually something deeper: shame.

The Difference Between “I Did Something Wrong” and “I Am Wrong”

This is where things start to shift.

There’s a big difference between:

“That didn’t go how I wanted”
and
“What’s wrong with me?”

One keeps you grounded in reality.
The other turns the situation into your identity.

And when that happens, it becomes much harder to move forward.

Because now it’s not just about fixing a situation—it feels like you have to fix yourself.

It’s Not the Money Mistake That Keeps You Stuck

It’s What Happens After

Something unexpected comes up. An expense. A missed detail. A decision you wish you had made differently.

That part is normal.

What tends to knock you out of alignment isn’t the situation itself—it’s the response that follows.

The internal reaction:

Beating yourself up
Replaying it over and over
Questioning your capability

That’s what creates the spiral.

Why Logic Alone Doesn’t Solve This

You might already know this.

You might understand, logically, that:

You can’t change what already happened
You can only decide what to do next

But in the moment, that doesn’t always help.

Because this isn’t just a mindset issue—it’s also emotional.

Your nervous system is involved. Your past experiences are involved. The meaning you’ve attached to money is involved.

So even when you know better, you can still feel stuck.

How Shame Quietly Impacts Your Business

This isn’t just internal.

It shows up in how you run your business, too.

Visibility

When you’re in self-criticism, it’s harder to show up.

Even if you are posting or creating content, something feels off. And people can feel that.

Pricing

If there’s shame underneath the surface, it’s hard to fully stand behind your pricing.

You might:

Second-guess your rates
Undercharge
Feel uncomfortable receiving money

Not because you don’t know what to charge—but because of how you feel about yourself.

Consistency

Self-criticism often leads to stop-start patterns.

You show up, something doesn’t go how you hoped, and then:

You hesitate
You pull back
You overthink the next move

And the cycle continues.

Why Trying to “Fix Yourself” Doesn’t Work

One of the most common responses to this pattern is to try to fix it.

More strategy. More mindset work. More doing.

But often, that turns into another form of pressure.

Another layer of:

“I should have this figured out by now”
“Why is this still happening?”

Which just feeds the same cycle.

A More Grounded Way to Interrupt the Pattern

Instead of fighting the thoughts or trying to eliminate them completely, the shift is much simpler.

Pause the Spiral

The next time self-criticism comes up, you don’t have to argue with it.

You can just pause and ask:

Is this actually true, or is this just what I’m feeling right now?

That small moment of awareness creates space.

Let It Be a Process

This isn’t something you “fix” once and never deal with again.

It’s layered.

You might move through one level of this work, and then another layer shows up later.

That’s not failure—it’s part of the process.

Focus on What’s Next, Not What Already Happened

You don’t need to spend hours replaying what went wrong.

You can bring your attention back to:

What’s the next aligned step from here?

That’s where momentum actually comes from.

Key Takeaways

Self-criticism around money is often so normal you don’t notice it
The real issue isn’t the mistake—it’s how you respond to yourself afterward
Shame turns situations into identity, which keeps you stuck
This pattern impacts visibility, pricing, and consistency in your business
You don’t need to “fix yourself”—you need a different way of relating to yourself
Small pauses and awareness can interrupt the spiral and create space to move forward

If You Want Support With This Work

This is the deeper layer of money work that often gets overlooked.

It’s not just about systems or strategy—it’s about how you feel, how you respond, and what patterns are running underneath it all.

If you want to explore this more, you can:

Listen to the full episode of Money Simplified
Explore resources at https://aimeecerka.com
Connect on Instagram at @AimeeCerka

No pressure. Just support when you’re ready.

Before You Listen

If you take one thing into the episode, let it be this:

It’s not the situation that’s keeping you stuck—it’s the way you’ve learned to respond to yourself inside of it.

As you listen, notice where self-criticism shows up for you, and see if you can meet it with just a little more awareness instead of reaction.

Below is the full transcript of the episode, where I walk through this in more depth.

Getting Out of Your Own Way With Money

We are our own worst critic, and I know like there’s some of us, myself included, who have tolerated people talking to us in ways that shouldn’t have been allowed. But if we’re really honest, we don’t allow anybody to talk to us in a way that we are not being crueler to ourselves, but like the craziest thing, we don’t even notice we do it anymore.

It’s just, it just happens. And we’re gonna kind of get into today, the getting out of your own way concept and how we handle, um, the shame, the judgment, the way that we beat ourselves up in today’s episode. So let’s get into it.

The Way You Talk to Yourself About Money

This is Money Simplified, the podcast where I help female entrepreneurs go from stress and struggle to unstoppable with money. Money is more than just budgeting and p and Ls, and we’re gonna take you through all of it here.

We blend proven financial strategy with mindset work and energetic alignment, so you can create unstoppable finances, build an unstoppable business and truly enjoy your unstoppable life.

It’s time to take my wisdom and my expertise to help you simplify money and go beyond the numbers. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.

Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way

Welcome back to Money Simplified. We are talking today about getting out of your own way and really what this starts with, right? Like the way that we talk to ourselves is awful.

Like we are our own worst critic so many times, right?

And there’s a version of you out there, like we tap into it sometimes, like you feel it when you are just in full alignment, you are unstoppable, everything’s flowing. You feel confident and clear in your decisions.

You’re feeling safe with money, you’re feeling sexy, like whatever it is. Like all of those things, like you feel fantastic.

When You Knock Yourself Out of Alignment

You feel in the zone. You feel yourself, you feel aligned with everything that you’ve called to. You’re like, I finally got it. I’m finally on the path.

But then we kick ourselves out. We kick ourselves off path.

And why do we kick ourselves off the path?

Because something comes up and then we beat ourselves up over it, right?

So whether it’s we made a mistake, something doesn’t work out the way that we think it will be, we feel shame. We don’t wanna be judged or comparing ourself to somebody else, like somebody else is doing it better, faster, they’ve got more followers.

The “I Should Be Further Along” Pattern

I hear a lot of judgment of ourselves, like, I should be further along by now. I should know this. Like I should, like I know what to do. I should be doing this.

I hear that one a lot.

Shame.

And a lot of the personal work that I’m doing really roots back in like how many things that like we criticize ourselves, judge us for like how much of it or we’re embarrassed.

All of those things.

Like it’s all really rooted in shame.

It’s Not the Mistake—It’s What You Do Next

Because it’s not like the mistake, so we’ll make a choice, right?

Let’s see. You have been working on your finances. You’re trying to get more in line with tracking it. You’re trying to do the things, and you’ve made a choice.

Something happened, you forgot an expense, you went over budget. Something.

Something happens, right?

Big expense comes up.

So that thing happens.

And it’s not that the thing that happens, that’s not what takes us out of that aligned, unstoppable space.

It’s what we do with it.

The Shame Spiral

And we go to beat ourselves up and we go into the shame and we go into the judgment.

Like we go into all those things and we kick ourselves out.

Wasn’t enough that like mistake was, or the choice or whatever it was.

Whatever happened, like is that’s what happened, right?

And like we know what we can control is like what do you do next?

How do we move forward?

Why Logic Isn’t Enough

Even if you logically know this.

Because I can tell you how many times, like I logically know this.

Mind had other ideas, emotions had other ideas.

Human interaction, right? Like our human experience.

So then like we beat ourselves up and we judge ourselves and we feel shame.

When Shame Becomes Identity

Like, I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I missed this.

I guess I wasn’t prepared or we’re really hard on ourselves.

We criticize ourselves.

That’s been me in the past.

And again, really so much of it goes back to shame.

Because shame at its core, it’s not that I did something wrong, it’s I’m wrong.

Staying Busy Instead of Feeling

We don’t want to feel this.

So we hot potato it, right?

We start to feel shame. I don’t wanna do this, so okay, I’m gonna strategize. What can I work on? What can I go do? What can I, personal development, can I dive into?

Like it’s gotta be something. We gotta stay busy.

But meanwhile it’s still running the show.

How Shame Impacts Your Business

When we’re in that place of shaming ourselves, we can’t show up.

We’re not visible.

And if you’re going through the motions of being visible and you’re feeling all the shame, people can feel it energetically.

Like something’s not right.

Shame and Pricing, Receiving, and Consistency

Pricing.

If you are feeling shame, you aren’t charging what you’re worth.

Because you secretly are like, I don’t know that I’m worth that.

You’re not gonna receive the compliments, the money, the support.

Because if you’re ashamed of yourself, why should somebody else give something to you?

Why Self-Criticism Keeps You Stuck

It’s gonna affect your consistency.

Because you did it once and then it didn’t work.

What are people gonna think?

Like you can’t.

Our critic is trying to keep us safe.

But it’s not a lion that’s chasing you.

You’re Not Broken

Because self-criticism is not actually protecting you. It’s holding you back.

We’re in our own way.

And not from a, like, you’re broken.

There’s something wrong with you.

You don’t have to.

You Don’t Have to Beat Yourself Up

Your gifts are powerful.

You’re powerful.

You’re worth like everything that has come as part of your experience.

It’s all part of it.

Stop Wasting Time in Self-Criticism

If you make choices that you don’t like long term, let’s learn to make different choices instead of wasting so much time being our own worst critic.

You don’t have to be perfect.

None of us are.

Everyone Is Dealing With Something

We’re all human.

We are so much more alike than we realize at its root.

You don’t know what people are going through.

You don’t know what’s actually going on.

Letting Go of “Should”

Everybody’s so much further along than you.

What’s wrong with you?

Why haven’t I done this?

I know better and I should be further along.

What if we stopped beating ourselves up?

Interrupting the Spiral

The next time it comes up, you don’t have to get in a fight with it.

Just pause.

Stop the spiral.

Is this actually true or is it a feeling right now?

This Is Lifelong Work

We’ve gotta reprogram the way that we react.

And it’s never gonna be perfect.

It’s a lifelong process.

There’s always another layer.

A Different Way to Move Forward

What if you could be unshakeable, feel happy, feel satisfied, feel unstoppable, feel successful where you’re at right now?

And get outta your own way.

Enjoy where you’re at.

This Is the Real Work

This is the work.

It’s not just the budget.

It’s not just the bookkeeping.

It’s the mindset, the thought patterns, the energetics.

Stop Being Your Own Ceiling

Are you putting on a mask?

You are scared to death on the inside, but you’re like, yay, here we go.

You’re still being your own ceiling in your life.

Your Next Step

There’s no shoulds.

That’s not the world that we live in.

So what’s the next step for you?

What’s the next path for you?

Final Invitation

Let’s focus on you.

Let’s move forward.

Let’s help you be the best version of you.

And guess what?

When you become the best version of you, the world’s gonna change one person at a time.

Work With Aimee Cerka

If you are ready to stop being your own ceiling in your life and your business, if you’re ready to go deep on this, Money Mastery Academy, the Unstoppable Experience, that’s where we go deep.

The link is gonna be in the show notes for you to check both of those out.

I would love to support you.