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Money Talk What You Say To Yourself – Ep. 96
If I asked “How are you doing” right now, what would you say?
In this episode, we’re talking about what you say when you talk to yourself, why does that matter, and what you need to do with that self talk. So here we go!
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Podcast Key Points:
0:00 – Episode Overview
1:17 – What Do You Say To Yourself
2:58 – Removing The Pressure
4:40 – 3 Step Process To Remove The Pressure
9:44 – What You Say To Your Kids
10:51 – Recap
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How to Improve Your Self-Talk for a Happier Life
If I asked you how you were doing right now, what would you say? For most of us, it’s good. Pretty good. Doing all right.
Hanging in there depends on the day, right? But do you actually mean it?
We’re talking about what you say when you talk to yourself or what you say to yourself this week. So why does that matter and what you need to do inside this episode. Here we go!
Welcome to the Your Money Your Life podcast. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. After over 10 years in the personal finance industry and multiple personal financial and medical crisis, I was fed up with the lies or being shouted from the rooftops by the Guru’s and the media.
If you’re ready to eliminate fear, stress, struggle, frustration and guilt, from your finances. All the areas they affect, you’re in the right place. Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.
The Power of Self-Talk
Welcome back to another episode of the Your Money, Your Life podcast. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. We are talking today about what you say to yourself. So, if I asked you right now how you were doing what would you say? Good, pretty good. Fantastic. Just alright. Hanging in there something like that, right?
But do you actually mean it? Will put on a facade for everyone, like, look at us, we’re doing this. I’ve accomplished this thing. But then you put the foot phone down and you’re like, I can’t believe you said that that was so stupid.
Or you turn around and you get angry and you’re yelling at somebody? What’s wrong with you? Why haven’t you hit your sales goal? In?
Embracing Grace and Gratitude
Well, I firmly believe we will never have this like 100% amazing life. This is why we talk about unstoppable finances and being unstoppable in spite of whatever circumstances are going on.
But I do believe that we can find the grace and the gratitude in our situations with yourself. And those around you in genuinely arrive to a happier place consistently. When you quit stressing about messing up all the dang time and give yourself like a little bit of space that it’s okay. If things don’t go 100% according to plan, you’re going to close an energy leak, okay?
It’s not about removing like all pressure, and it’s just like, oh, everything is a big deal. I don’t have to get anything done and like you’re gonna get it right.
I don’t think that you feel that. That’s not the sample problem you’re facing, right? Like you’re doing all these things you’re showing up on social media. And you’re like smiling.
You’re doing the things; you’re hustling here; you’re doing this here. And like there is some aspect like, there are moments when you are happy and fulfilled. But I want you to have more of those moments.
And I also don’t want you to speak negatively to yourself outside of those moments. And this is way easier said than done. Like total transparency it is something that I’m still working on. Something that I think that we’re going to be working on forever.
Like, again, like I’ve said so many times, we’re not perfect, and I don’t expect you to be but if we can stop wasting energy beating ourselves up and asking yourself, like what’s wrong with you? Why haven’t we done this, or I shouldn’t have said that to the kids or I shouldn’t have snapped or, like I needed to do this, whatever it might be.
Stop putting all the pressure on yourself like that. Because it’s not that we’re gonna totally pull the pressure off and you’re gonna live like this relaxed-no-pressure life. I don’t think that’s what you want.
But you don’t want to feel guilty. You don’t want to feel that struggle and that stress and that frustration with yourself and with others, right? So, we have to give ourselves a space. And there’s a three-step process that I want to share with you real quick.
If we’ve been on coaching calls before, you might have heard of it. This is going to be probably a shorter episode, even for me.
But when these things are happening when you are in this charge state, whether it’s frustration with yourself, whether it It’s all the itty bitty little things that are adding up like one thing after another one, like tiny things that are going wrong, and you were just at your breaking point at your limit, or your touched out, just please stop touching me.
I hit that the other day. It was challenging. We had like a day, or was one of those things where like little things were going on. Kids were a little more needy, a little more bickering, there was stuff that wasn’t really going right with work or whatever it might be, like just little stuff was adding up.
And I’m like, I am so touched up, please stop. Please stop touching me.
The Three-Step Process
But when you get to that point too, we need to ask yourself these three questions. And if you can work, walk yourself through this exercise. Perfect, amazing, do it.
But as always, if you’ve got a coach in your corner to help you to go through and look at things objectively, it’s gonna be that much more powerful.
Identify the Situation
All right. So, the first thing I want you to do in the moment, like, I want you to identify what’s happening, what is going on. And, the way that we do this is not you have to state it without the emotion.
Okay, so right now I am sitting in my office recording at my desk, the lights on so that we had the pretty lighting the windows, the blinds are partway open. I can kind of hear the kids in the other room. But it’s not anything that’s undisputable or disputable, I should say. Not anything that is disputable.
So being hungry, being tired, like those emotions, yes, they might be real, might be factual. But that’s not what we’re talking about. Tangible things that you can look. See, feel those things.
Okay, what’s happening. And when we hit these moments, there are times where our subconscious mind has related it back to a time in the past.
Okay. So, if there is fear showing up in one of these instances, or you’re saying like, what’s wrong with you? Why haven’t you hit your sales goal? Or I don’t know why you’re trying; you’re just going to fail again. And one of those type of things, where we’re tying it to something that happened in the past that we have.
Separate from the Past
The second part is we have to ask ourselves, Is it real? Is what’s going on now what happened in the past? If you’re in one of those circumstances like that, where you’re blaming yourself or feeling like you’re gonna fail again, just because you felt it in the past. Because you’ve grown since then, the circumstances may have changed.
Things have grown. Just because you failed in the past does not mean that you’re going to fail now.
So, if you’re in those circumstances, that circumstance, the answer is no, it’s not real. And if you just hit your limit from all the little things adding up, like, yes, it can be real. But regardless of which side of the beating yourself up circus you’re on. So, circus. I feel like it’s kind of like a circus, right?
Take a Positive Step
The third part, the thing that we need to know is like, what comes next? What’s your next step so that we don’t stay in this spot, you have to get into momentum. So, if you’re beating yourself up, acknowledging the fact that what happened, the past is not the future, that’s a good first step.
Then what’s something you can do to move forward, maybe it’s going to go make an invite to somebody, maybe it’s making a post on social media about whatever the next event is, or whatever it might be moving forward doesn’t have to be a big step. I don’t want you to be like, Okay, well, I have to get like 14 moving pieces going to be able to move forward. No, one step get it done. 10 minutes.
If you’re overwhelmed, or stressed out from like, my example of being touched out to like, stop touching the end of my bowl. Then, you go outside and you hide for 10 minutes.
Now, of course, you got to make sure the kids are safe, secure, like not going to hurt themselves. If you have kids old enough to watch out for themselves great. If not, like have everybody have quiet time do something for you.
It does not have to take a lot of a lot of time. But do something to remove yourself from the situation. Because if you are sitting there telling yourself, what’s wrong with you, why haven’t you done this? Or why do you keep doing this? Like those types of things.
We need to be able to speak positively to ourselves, okay. Again, we’re not looking for perfection. We’re just looking to move forward.
Authenticity and Moving Forward
A powerful exercise for this is if somebody said to your kids, what you’re saying to yourself right now, how would you feel it and when you can feel good about that. Then, you know you’re on the right track. Again, we’re not worried about perfection, this is just moving forward.
And being congruent with the things that we are telling others and the things that we’re telling ourselves moving forward. This is like authenticity shows up.
No, I don’t need you to like air. Every single part of your dirty laundry, you can have tough times you can have tough moments. And if you’re one of those, like, totally own it, that’s fine.
It does not mean that we have to put everything out might share all of the dirty laundry. We can just say like, Hey, it’s a struggle right now. Or I’m struggling with something right now. There’s nothing wrong with that. Like, again, this is all a journey up and down.
All right. Okay, I’m gonna quit rambling. We talked a lot about what you say to yourself, and trying to get to a place. I think that question there that I posed at the end was probably a good way to put a bow on this.
Speak Kindly to Yourself
Like, if what you’re saying to yourself, was said to your kids, how would you feel in working to a place where we feel good about that, and we’re not beating ourselves up? Or asking like, what’s wrong with you, like you’re so stupid, whatever, whatever that is.
Getting away from that place and moving forward. And giving ourselves the grace and the gratitude and genuinely believing like what we’re saying and moving forward. And that three-step exercise that we talked about with when you’re moving forward, or when you’re in one of those situations, how you can move forward is going to be so key.
Send me a message on Instagram. I’d love to hear from you. Your insights from today’s episode. We’ll see you next time. Bye for now.
Boost Your Financial Confidence with Money Mastery Academy
Thank you so much for listening to Your Money, Your Life podcast. Ready to dive in? Money Mastery Academy is like the all-inclusive resort. Everything you need to step into unstoppable finances and create that abundant life. Finally, take control of your money.
When you do that, pressure will be gone off your shoulders and you won’t have to work 80 hours a day and night and your calendar won’t be booked to the max with work. Your finances and your money do not have to be a struggle with Money Mastery Academy, all this is possible. It doesn’t have to be complicated. And you can do this go to https://aimeecerka.com/academy and let’s make today the day that you draw a line in the sand and take control of your financial future for good. I’ll see you there!
