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Is there ever enough time to take care of yourself? There are all these obligations that you have to handle that are more important right? Eh, I don’t think so anymore. That’s why on today’s episode of Your Money Your Life we’re talking with Onnie Michalsky about the 5 pillars of self-care, making yourself a priority, if it’s a requirement to wake up early, and more! So let’s do this!
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Resources & Links
Money Mindset Mastery Checklist – https://aimeecerka.com/mindset
Show Notes – https://aimeecerka.com/13
Resource: Stop The Excuses And Start Taking Care of Yourself – www.momswithoutcapes.com/yourmoney
Connect With Onnie: Facebook, Mom’s Without Capes Facebook Group, Instagram, Website
Connect With Aimee:
Instagram – https://instagram.com/aimeecerka
Website – https://aimeecerka.com
Podcast Key Points
0:00 – Episode Sponsorship – Money Mindset Mastery Checklist
1:07 – Episode Overview
3:18 – Interview Open
4:38 – Onnie’s Journey
7:48 – Making Yourself A Priority
8:33 – Pillars of Self Care
14:17 – Onnie’s Favorite Self Care Practice
16:41 – Is Waking Up Early A Requirement?
19:14 – Onnie’s Most Valuable Tool When It Comes To Self Care
23:15 – FREE RESOURCE – Getting Over The Excuses When It Comes To SelfCare
24:23 – Connect Online
24:57 – Challenge
Frustrated that you aren’t making the progress that you should within your finances? Create an unshakable money mindset with the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist
Read It! Taking Care of You! With Onnie Michalsky
This episode of the Your Money Your Life podcast is brought to you by the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist.
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Often what we find is this invisible force or the missing piece of the puzzle is a mindset obstacle. Eliminate that and you’re back on the path to your financial goals.
Inside the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist, you’ll find 10 simple steps to create an unshakable money mindset. These 10 steps are the most common things that I see trip up motivated women who are putting in the work just like you are.
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Go grab it now. If you need that link again, it’s going to be hanging out in the show notes for you.
Do you struggle with finding time to take care of You? There are all these obligations that you have to handle that are more important, right? Um, I don’t think so anymore.
That’s why on today’s episode of the Your Money, Your Life podcast, we’re talking with Onnie Michalsky about the 5 pillars of self-care, making yourself a priority and if it’s a requirement to wake up early and more.
Onnie Michalsky is a licensed therapist and life and wellness coach for busy, stressed-out moms who desperately need a break, but refuse to take one. She’s also a mom of six who empowers fellow moms to hang up their Superwoman capes and break through the limiting beliefs that are keeping them from becoming their best self. Her mission as the founder of the moms without capes movement is to help women discover and fall in love with who they are under their mom hat so they can design the life they want to be living. So, let’s do this!
Welcome to the Your Money Your Life podcast. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka.
After my husband and I faced three major financial roadblocks in the last six years, I felt like I wasn’t doing all that I could and I had let my family down. It always felt like life was a struggle like I had to work harder than everyone else. It just came easy to them, and I didn’t feel worthy of success.
Until, a coach helped me see the successes in our experiences instead of our failures. This allowed me to create and implement systems to grow our network by 200,000+ while spending time with my loved ones and on my priorities. Now I help motivated women create the happiness, family life, financial security, and long-term wealth they deserve.
If you’re ready to eliminate stress, struggle, frustration and guilt within your finances, you’re in the right place. Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here!
Aimee:
All right, Onnie. Thank you so much for being on the Your Money, Your Life Podcast. I’m so excited that you are here!
Onnie:
I am so excited to be here, Aimee. Thanks for having me.
Aimee:
Absolutely. We’ve had a fun relationship. We’ve gotten to do quite a bit of collaborations and talks over the last almost 12 months now, and I know this is going to be great.
Onnie:
It’s been that long.
Aimee:
Yes, and I am recording. There’s a really funny story about that. I might tell all the guests later. Uhm, so to start off, I’d love to hear what does “Your Money, Your Life” mean to you?
Onnie:
So, when, I know that’s the name of the podcast, and when I hear that, I feel I immediately go to thinking that it’s not being a slave to your money that we need money to live to have fun, to enjoy life, we only get one life but being able to be responsible with our money and learn how to manage it so that we’re not drowning in debt. We’re not basically like living paycheck to paycheck or being a slave to our money that we can use our money to make our life even better. So that’s what I think when I hear “Your Money, Your Life”.
Aimee:
I love it. That’s definitely like what I was going for when we named podcast that. So, tell me a little bit about your journey. You’re now like this wellness expert talking about helping moms take care of themselves and self-care. So how did you get to this place?
Onnie:
So, it’s been a long journey. I have a background in mental health counseling. I’m a licensed counselor here in Montana, and then I kind of stumbled upon becoming a health coach.
I wanted to do Zumba and that I ended up teaching it. And as part of the continuing education credits in order to be a group fitness instructor when I decided not to do the name Zumba, but I instead went to cardio dance, like I tried different names. And I decided to become a health coach, as part of the continuing education process to keep my certification as the group fitness instructor.
Well, I don’t even have that group fitness instructor anymore, like that certification. And I’ve learned that people don’t care what kind of certifications you have, as long as you can help them with the transformation. And so along that journey of my own, you know, health journey or like coming to terms with rediscovering who I am under my mom hat, the most important role I have, I mentioned that on a counselor, I’m also a coach, I also have a mom with six kids.
And so, I wanted to create a business that kind of encompassed all of that, but my own background, my experience, my education, all with helping other moms. And so, I created the brand “Moms Without Capes”, and now I serve super women, which are the moms that struggle with it, like the mentality of thinking they have to do it all and be at all and they have like to do lists that are forever long. And I help them like manage their time and manage, you know, actually putting themselves on their to do lists.
Because one of the biggest things is moms say they don’t have time and so I found that it’s really not the time management because we are great schedulers, we know you know, it’s really considering yourself worthy enough to focus on. And so, I do a lot of things on like perfectionism and people pleasing and boundary setting and, and all of those other things that are keeping us from prioritizing ourselves. So that is just a brief window of how I got to be where I am.
Aimee:
Yes, I definitely agree that you’re right. It’s not that we don’t have time. It’s not it’s that we’re not making the time making it a priority. Like there’s all these things to do, if I’m going to do the dishes or do something to take care of myself, like we’ll end up choosing the dishes instead of even like asking for somebody else like okay, “Hey, can you do the dishes, so that I can go do this”. And I know we’ve talked about before, like self-care isn’t just bubble baths and like bubble baths is self-care for me like it’s something I enjoy.
So, Monday, funny story, my husband was like, I had a rough day like with the kids and everything. He was like, “Okay, when I get home, just give me two things off of your list. Like, I’m gonna take care of them for you.” And then he got stuck at work and it was like, 7:45 when he got home.
Onnie:
Oh, you had your hopes up. You had your hopes up.
Aimee:
Yeah, and it was like, you know, I have wanted to take my Epsom salt bath for a while. So instead of like helping with this, I want you to go shower so that I can go sit and take my bath and we’re done. Like it was the simple little thing of, if I hadn’t been learning to make it a priority, and like it’s okay like to say yes to myself, I don’t know if I would have done that because it seems it can feel frivolous, a little bit like to say that, but it is just as important and I love that like that’s your focus as well.
And the other thing that I love is you have pillars of self-care. I think there’s five of them if I remember correctly. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about those.
Onnie:
So because we’re so overwhelmed with so many different things to do, I focus mainly on like, five areas that you can make sure that you’re, I say “filling your bucket”, and making sure that you are focusing on these five areas so that you can fill your bucket and that you can feel recharged, and get all of the benefits of self-care. And like you mentioned, self-care is not just bubble baths, of course, it can include bubble baths, if that’s what you, you really do need to define self-care for you.
And so, these five pillars are five categories are physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual and social.
And I know you are the money woman. And so, I you know, and a lot of when you look at, like the dimensions of health or the, you know, if you were to Google that, finances often come up. And I don’t include that in one of the any of those five pillars, I include them in all of them because money is such a part of your life. Right? And so, I don’t think that it needs a separate category.
I think you can infiltrate every single one of those pillars. I mean, get into that in a little bit, but these five pillars all encompass different areas.
So, like physical is kind of what we always think of when we think of self-care, like taking care of your body, making sure that you’re getting enough sleep, and the healthy diet, and moving your body every day.
The emotional is, I combine that with the mental health. And because your feelings and your thoughts and your mental health is all in are mingled or intertwined. And so, making sure that you are taking care of your mental and emotional health. And this could include therapy, journaling, a lot of self-reflection, making sure that you are tuning into what you’re thinking, and you know, all of that, that good stuff.
And then your spiritual health is not just religion, but it’s also like just getting in touch with the wider world, making sure that you’re getting out in nature and connecting with the bigger world.
And then you’ve got the intellectual and that’s like, mental stimulation, challenging yourself, learning new skills or learning new, you know, bringing new knowledge into your life each day.
And then finally, the social and that is all about relationships, and making sure that you’re fostering and investing in your relationships in your life. And so those are the five areas that, especially if you are new to self-care, will help you make sure that you’re getting something each day.
Aimee:
I love it. And I also it’s funny, I was in one of your challenges, I think it was over the summer. And it was the first time like I met somebody who had the same like game that we play like on our phones, and it’s the whole intellectual thing. It’s killer Sudoku, but I never met anybody else that played it before until we did that. And I was like, “This is what I did today.” And they were like, “Oh my gosh, I love that one too.” So, it was social too and the intellectual there.
Onnie:
That’s the thing, a lot of them cross-over. Definitely and that’s why that financial like that crosses, right, that goes right in there. You can’t. This is a podcast, but I’m like moving my fingers in and out like a wave like it’s intertwined. Like it’s the Italian than me talking with my hands.
Aimee:
You got to watch the YouTube guys. If you’re listening to the podcast, come watch the YouTube video so you can see us talking.
Onnie:
See what I’m actually talking about. But um, yeah, they’re all intertwined. And you can certainly engage in one self-care practice that pulls in from the different pillars. They’re not all separate.
Aimee:
Yes, and I can definitely see from the financial standpoint, as we talk about, like our mindset and our habits. At the time of this, when this goes live, we’ll be in the middle of the Healthy Happy Impulse Spending challenge. It might have a different name by this point, because I’m still not set on it. But we’re talking about Healthy Impulse Spending Habits.
And the whole thought process that all impulse spending is bad, like, of course is wrong. We’re talking about that, but knowing like what our triggers are, and what happens and what we do in relation to that I see how that intertwines in all of these different pillars, as we talk about our self-care as well.
So, I love how you say it’s like, it’s, it’s an all of them, because IT IS and that’s really why it’s so important that we create money as a tool. It’s not just like, let’s figure this out, because like, we need to have money, it’s because we want to be the best version of ourselves too and when we take care of ourselves, and we take care of our finances, you’re just happier when we do that. And yeah, I’m gonna get it off on that.
Onnie:
Are we meant to be happy? Are we meant to be happy?
Aimee:
Yes! I got…
Onnie:
We are meant to live this amazing life. It all plays a role. A really big role.
Aimee:
I was on a group coaching call a couple weeks ago, and they were like, “You just look happy”. And I was like, “You know what, thank you like that is like one of the biggest compliments”. I was talking about, like all of the crazy things that have occurred over the last like, a month, because it’s just been like a roller coaster of all these things. And even though I’m talking about like, all these things that went wrong, there were just like, “You look happy.” And I was like, “You know what, thank you.”
Because a couple years ago, when I wasn’t making myself a priority, and I wasn’t, hadn’t worked on my mindset, like I don’t, I don’t think you would have been able to, like, I KNOW you wouldn’t have been able to say that.
Onnie:
Right. Right.
Aimee:
And it makes all the difference.
Onnie:
It does.
Aimee:
So, is there a question that I haven’t asked you that everyone needs to know the answer to?
Onnie:
So, what is my favorite self-care practice? Because we talked about how you have to define it for yourself. And this is something that is very controversial in mom world. I guess we need everything, but waking up early. I do wake up early and I know a lot of moms will say like, you know, that their self-care sleeping in and…
Aimee:
I raised my hand for those of you for listening.
Onnie:
You know, it’s kind of like staying at home or like going to work like it’s just like there’s some moms that fall on one side and the other moms are like adamant like, “No. I’m not waking up early to give up my self-care.”
I have found over the years that that just works for me and getting up early allows me to get myself mentally and physically prepared for the day because my day is totally like chaos as many systems I have in place and like that, you know, that the chore list and I’ve got, you know, make like I already made dinner for tonight, like different things that I do throughout the day to bring peace, because I know if I didn’t do that it would be over my head and I would be crying every day.
And so being able to wake up early is my self-care. And during that time, I don’t do work. I make sure that I’m mentally prepared, not physically, I am not doing laundry; I’m not emptying the dishwasher; I’m not doing anything like that. That’s the time that I’m sitting there journaling.
I have five minutes where I actually just think because I don’t have time to think during the day. Many of you moms probably know this, like you don’t know what you’re thinking which is why many of us struggle with sleep because you lay down to go to sleep and all these thoughts are flooding your mind. All these worries and stuff because you don’t give yourself that time to actually think.
And so that’s my favorite, but I really do challenge all of the listeners to define what self-care is for you. What fills your bucket, what brings you that peace and recharges you so that you are your best version that you’re moving towards your best version.
Aimee:
And see this is why I love asking this question because like we needed to hear that and it is funny because for myself like, I am a night owl by nature and that’s like that’s always been my nature but everyone talks or a lot of experts in the industry talk about like “You got to get up early, you got to get up early”.
I’ve got like kids that are still crawling in bed with me. She’s three but like it’s still every night like in bed with me and when I made the decision, I was stressing myself out trying to get up earlier and you know what, what I did was I just stopped setting an alarm and my kids are gonna wake me up I’m not going to sleep for forever but there were times that I was sleeping late I mean it was 8:45 or so and like I know for morning people like they have their day done. But…
Onnie:
I love telling people that too. Like my husband he’s a late sleeper, and I’m like kind of halfway done my day like where have you been?
Aimee:
But this simple act of stopping setting the alarm, I released so much stress…
Onnie:
Pressure?
Aimee:
Yes, and the pressure, and like I got more done because I wasn’t stressed about the fact that I was “behind” because I wasn’t getting up early.
Onnie:
You were no longer comparing and trying to keep up.
Aimee:
Yes, and it was the craziest thing and like I don’t… my workday I always started like at 10am anyways like even when I was trying to get up earlier, I didn’t want to commit to anything earlier than that because you know life happens. But I was still keeping with that I got done what I needed to faster because we had done everything, so I just love how it’s like the polar, the opposites but it’s definitely how we all fill our own bucket.
Onnie:
Yes. Do you, uhm, do you follow Jenna Kutcher?
Aimee:
You were the one that told me that she’s not a morning person.
Onnie:
She’s not, yeah! She always says it and I think like she’s making millions.
Aimee:
You were the first one and she was the first one I heard of.
Onnie:
Yeah, she always talks about it.
Aimee:
Oh my gosh. They exist.
Onnie:
It’s really possible. It is because we are, you’re right. We hear so much about like you have to wake up early like to be successful and it’s like grounded our heads like oh my gosh and then when you can’t wake up earlier you don’t want to wake up early, you’re already like feeling behind like you said like you’re already feeling like you’re not measuring up and we don’t need that.
Aimee:
Nope. So, the takeaway here is about what you need. We’ve got the two extremes here; you identify with one of us.
So, uhm I’m big on tools and systems and making, using them to make things easier so we can really be the CEO of our life. So, what is the most valuable tool or resource that you found when it comes to self-care and taking care of yourself?
Onnie:
So, this is really funny because right before you hit record, we were talking about our calendars. And when I when you sent me the questions in preparation for this episode, I was like what is it. I know you asked me that before, and I think I said my crock pot, because it does help me get work done.
But I was like you know, it is it is definitely my calendar. And that’s what we were talking about right before you hit record is kind of getting the calendar straight and like using your electronic versus paper and all that.
So, I use my paper calendar and I use a Passion Planner and it really helps me like with time blocking, and making sure that and how it helps me with self-care is that I actually write down like, I make sure that I’m putting breaks in the day to go for a walk around the block or go to the gym, or to go up, I started doing a lunchtime, because I work in home, my kids are off school during the day. And so, I really don’t need to break and go for lunch. But I do, I do like a 30-minute, sometimes 20-minute, but just giving myself that time to get up and it’s intentional.
And that’s the thing, you need to be intentional about self-care because if you’re not, it doesn’t happen. Especially if you’re not used to doing it because you’re in these habits and routines of putting everyone else and everyone else’s needs in front of you. And so, you have to start being intentional about your own self-care and saying, “Well what fills my bucket” and then creating that space in your calendar and in your day to practice it.
Aimee:
Yep, totally agree. And I was gonna, I was wondering if you were gonna say the crock pot again, because I feel like I plan a crock pot meal at least once a week now because we had that talk.
But I love that and we were saying before we hit record, like I have time scheduled, I’ve got like a little reminder, it’s a one-minute appointment that says like, start with a red heart, like five o’clock to remind me like to stop working, especially those of us who have the home businesses and we work from home and you’re passionate about what you do, it’s so easy like just to keep working. We have to be more intentional about separating business and work and taking care of ourselves. So I love that…
Onnie:
And since you’re all about money, I want to tell you something, that I got my new planner for 2022. And I already went through at least the first three months, I went through, and I marked off time, towards the end of each month to do like a monthly review and to work like to put in my business financials into the spreadsheet, because that, you know, every month I keep putting it off, I keep putting it off. And then it’s like three months later, and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, let me go back three months” and like pull up my bank statements and all that.
But I’m like, if it’s in my calendar, then it will get done. So I did on a Friday, once a month or towards the end, I actually wrote it down, that that’s what I’m going to focus on that Friday. So, just wanted to let you know that I am intentional about my finances, or I’m planning to be.
Aimee:
I love it. And it’s so key because I get asked this every time, we’re on tax time, I’m like, oh my goodness, it’s this overwhelming thing, and we really have to just build it in. So, the one thing that you probably want to do before you get to that point is make a list of the things that you need to do because we’ll sit down and look at it and be like, “Oh my gosh, like I don’t even know where to start”.
But if you have listed out like, okay, I need to check my expenses, I need to check my income, I need to check these things and it’s that simple, like, we don’t sit there trying to figure out what we need to do.
Onnie:
Yeah, spending all your time trying to figure out that instead of actually being productive and doing this.
Aimee:
So, this has been awesome, I believe you have a free gift for our listeners. So, what is that, and tell us a little bit about it, and where listeners can find it.
Onnie:
I do. So I have a guide for getting over the excuses that you may be making when it comes to self-care. And this is you know, that self-care selfish, or the that big excuse that we just talked about is that I don’t have time, or the house is gonna fall apart. And this guide will walk you through what thinking errors might be coming up, that’s causing you to or keeping you from practicing self-care.
So, I do have that for all of your listeners. And it’s at momswithoutcapes.com\yourmoney so grab that guide.
Aimee:
And of course, we’ll make sure it’s in the show notes as well so you don’t have to try to remember that but if you’re awesome and went on the go, you can go grab that and I love the thinking errors like that’s a fun way to word that.
And then of course where can our listeners find you online and learn more about you?
Onnie:
I know you’re all about Instagram and I’m on Instagram too but not as much you. I’m more of a Facebook girl. I can be found on Facebook at Moms Without Capes, also on Instagram @ momswithoutcapes, also I have a free Facebook community Moms Without Capes of course. And that’s where I can be found.
Aimee:
Awesome, making it easy. Moms Without Capes. I’m in that Facebook group, it is awesome so you should definitely check that out.
Um, and I like to leave you with a challenge. So, you can message Onnie on Facebook or you can message me on Instagram. Your challenge today is I want to hear what are you going to do to make yourself a priority? What action are you going to take when it comes to self-care now that we’ve worked on making ourselves a priority, we’re going to go do it.
But make sure you let me know what you’re going to be doing, and we’ll see you next week for another episode of the Your Money Your Life podcast. Bye for now guys!
Thank you so much for listening to the Your Money Your Life podcast. My favorite place to hang out is on Instagram. You can find me at @aimeecerka. Send me a message or post a screenshot and tag me! I love hearing from podcast listeners.
When you’re ready to master your money, go to https://workwithaimee.com. You and I will work together to ditch financial stress and struggle for good with a customized plan that works for you, your goals, your priorities, your life. I’ll see you next time on the Your Money Your Life podcast.
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