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Episode 263: What I Did When $120K in Debt Hit Overnight as a Money Coach
There’s a specific kind of shame that shows up when the thing you teach becomes the thing you’re struggling with. It doesn’t matter how much you know, how many systems you’ve built, or how many people you’ve helped, when the number in your bank account stops matching the expertise in your head, something in you starts to wonder if you’re allowed to call yourself capable.
That’s the space this episode lives in. Not “how to avoid debt,” but what happens when debt shows up anyway, through no choice of your own and you have to figure out how to hold your identity steady while the numbers are still a mess. It’s a conversation about the difference between what’s historically true and what’s actually a fact, and why that distinction matters more than any budget ever could.
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What I Did When $120K in Debt Hit Overnight as a Money Coach
If you’ve ever had something happen to your money that had nothing to do with your choices — a medical emergency, a layoff, an insurance gap you didn’t see coming — you already know the strange, specific shame that follows. It’s not just “how do I fix this.” It’s “what does this say about me.”
I know that shame intimately. Because when $120,000 in debt landed on me almost overnight, I was already a money coach.
A note before you keep reading: this post references a medical emergency and pregnancy loss. If that’s not something you can hold space for right now, that’s okay — this post will still be here when you’re ready.
The Debt Wasn’t the Problem — the Story About It Was
My ex-husband was hospitalized and in the ICU for nearly a month. We’d done everything “right” — insurance, planning, all of it — but a new job and a move across county lines left us in a gap with zero coverage when the bills came. There was no help available, not because we hadn’t been responsible, but because of circumstances neither of us created.
Underneath the bills, though, there was a second layer running the whole time: shame. How can I be a money coach and have this happening? That question is where the real work started — not in the numbers, but in what I was letting the numbers mean about who I was.
The Identity Shift That Had to Come First
Here’s the belief I had to dismantle: that the debt was a fact about my character instead of a fact about my circumstances.
Historical data can tell you a story has been true. It can’t tell you that story has to stay true. A fact can’t change — but a narrative can. That distinction became the foundation for everything else.
I started noticing the two ways we tend to protect ourselves from this kind of shame:
- Avoidance — not looking, not opening the account, telling yourself “I’m just not a numbers person.”
- Clinging — holding onto the story because it feels safer than the unknown. This is just how it’s always been for me.
Both feel protective. Neither is actually true.
The Net Worth Shift
For a long time, I tracked debt religiously — it hung on my wall, updated every month. But watching that number stayed focused on everything that was wrong.
So I made one change: I started tracking net worth instead of debt.
The progress wasn’t dramatic. Some months it moved up a little, some months it dipped back down. But over time, I could see the trend — and something about that shift in focus made an actual, measurable difference. The numbers improved by 10%, and I still can’t give you a purely logical explanation for why. What I can tell you is that where I put my attention changed what happened next.
What a Budget Is Actually For
While I was doing the identity work, I also needed the system to hold me — and that’s where budgeting came in.
Here’s what a budget is not: a restriction, a punishment, or a record of what you already spent.
Here’s what it is: a way of setting the intention for where your money goes before it goes there.
If you’re not setting that intention, someone else’s marketing is doing it for you — and that’s not a flaw in you, that’s just how a billion-dollar industry works. A budget built on borrowed principles from someone else’s life won’t hold up long-term. It has to be built on principles that actually fit yours.
Your Personal Finances and Your Business Are the Same System
If your personal finances are in chaos, it shows up in your business — in your cash flow, your client capacity, your revenue. You’re not your business, but as the CEO, you are the business. The two aren’t separate rooms; they’re the same house.
Key Takeaways
- A number can’t tell you who you are — only what’s currently true, which can change
- Tracking net worth instead of debt can shift both your mindset and your results
- A budget is intention-setting, not restriction
- Personal financial health and business financial health are inseparable
If This Is Where You Are Right Now
You don’t need to have this all figured out today. If you’re ready for a budget built on principles that actually fit your life — not a template you have to shrink yourself into — Budgeting Simplified walks you through exactly that.
Below is the full transcript of the episode, where I walk through this in more depth.
The Story Behind the $120,000
$120,000 in debt overnight, not over years of bad decisions, like overnight. My ex-husband was hospitalized. He was in ICU for 20 days, in the hospital almost a month, and we had done everything we were supposed to do, right? Like, I did all of the steps, but we were two miles into a different county, and we were in between insurances because of the new job.
And when the bill came, because of all those things, there was no help. Again, like, I know how to handle all those things, but there was zero help because of all of those little circumstances. But the part you might not know if you’ve heard this story before, I was already a money coach when all of this happened.
I was already doing the things, right? So underneath the bills, there was this whole other layer that was running. A lot of shame, right? Like, how the heck can I be a money coach if we’ve got this going on, right? Today, I’m gonna walk you through what actually moved the needle, and it wasn’t making progress on that number.
We’re gonna get into the identity piece because letting that number mean something about who you are is really the whole problem, right? The whole problem with debt is we let it mean something about who us, who we are as people. And one other catch that we’re gonna do as well, we’re gonna talk about what a budget is actually for.
So if you’ve ever had something happen to your money that wasn’t really in your control, stay with me. This one’s for you.
So let’s get to it.
This is Money Simplified, the podcast where I help female entrepreneurs go from stress and struggle to unstoppable with money. Money is more than just budgeting and P&Ls, and we’re gonna take you through all of it. Here we blend proven financial strategy with mindset work and energetic alignment, so you can create unstoppable finances, build an unstoppable business, and truly enjoy your unstoppable life.
It’s time to take my wisdom and my expertise to help you simplify money and go beyond the numbers. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here.
Pulling Back the Curtain
Welcome back. Today, we’re kinda pulling back the curtain, talking more about my story that we’ve got here, $120,000 in debt essentially overnight. In reality, it occurred about over a month. But again, it felt like that overnight thing. It wasn’t this gradual process of choices that I made. It was floor pulled out from underneath me, I’ve gotta be in it.
And the part that I don’t talk about a lot with this story, and I need to put a trigger warning here. We can tell you trigger warning medical, we can say trigger warning, infant loss, miscarriage, all of those things, okay? Give you a second to step away if that’s not something that you can energetically handle right now, and I totally respect that.
The Part I Don’t Talk About
Okay? So the part that I don’t talk about with this story that happened with my ex-husband. When I had to call 911, he was semi-responsive is what they call it, but essentially unconscious. I went to pick him up from work. He was essentially unconscious, so I had to call 911, have him taken to the hospital via ambulance, et cetera.
I’d found out I was pregnant three days before with my rainbow baby. Nobody knew yet. So we were dealing with all of the things, or I was dealing with all of the things of trying to make sure my levels were good and this baby was gonna be okay while managing all the things that I was having to do with my ex-husband. Husband at the time. Okay?
So again, I was handling it all. But afterwards, when he was supposed to be going through the healing process, we’re supposed to be working on returning back to work, all of those things, right? I’m the one that’s handling all the numbers. I’m looking at it. We’ve got all of the shame that’s coming up, and it’s like how can I, as a money coach, sit here and operate and help people when I’ve got this big thing that we can add all the shoulds, right?
The Shift That Had to Happen
We should have known better. We should have done this. We should have done that. It is what it is. So the shift that we had to make was I had to use the system, the system that I created, the system that we leaned on, and I’m gonna get into that here in a second, like the real big shift. But it had to not mean something about who I was.
Had the thing in process, not let it mean anything about who I was. Went through the process that we teach with the Daily Money Minute. It’s like, “Hey, check in with the bank account.” It didn’t matter what was in the bank account. This was actually, I think, when this process was created, if I remember correctly.
Doesn’t matter what’s in the bank account. Made the process of looking at it, maybe there could be something there. And I don’t even think I had gotten to that level yet, that we could play in the maybe with the magic. It was just, like, I’ve got to decondition this fear hit, the shame and the guilt that was gonna show up every time I opened the bank account.
So we built the habit of, like, “Hey, look, I can open this and I’m okay, and I’m gonna go look at the car that I wanna have.” I’m pretty sure that’s what I was, like, working towards at that time, was the car that I wanted. So look at the bank account, then go look at the car. Look at the bank account, go look at the car.
But the thing was, like, the numbers weren’t necessarily moving. That was a heck of a lot of debt, right?
The Net Worth Shift
But what we had to do was change what we were focusing on. I couldn’t focus on the fact, and I couldn’t meditate on the fact that it was like, “Well, what the heck does this mean as me as a person?” We shifted it, and now it’s firmly part of who I am. Like, right? I can help you through those things because I’ve lived it.
Like, here is the experience. We’ve done these things. I’ve come back from this, and we have so many different examples, and then, like, years later learned it’s in my human design, right? Like, fun stuff. But I couldn’t let it mean anything. Do the work. In the moment, it was about, like, being my own best client.
And then with the debt, this is really where the shift, became aware of, right? The shift that I’ve talked about with the net worth. We stopped focusing on the debt. I started tracking our net worth, and I started tracking it religiously. If you’re watching on YouTube, it used to hang right there on my wall every single month.
And I still track it. I’m still aware of it. It’s just not hanging up anymore, ’cause I don’t need it to be hanging up. But I needed to see the progress. I needed to cling to the progress, and when I shifted from looking at this massive mountain of debt to this is what our net worth was, and little, itty-bitty progress, right? This progress one month, back down the next. Progress the next month, back down the next. But I could see the trend over time.
But when I made the shift and I started focusing on my net worth as opposed to this thing that I didn’t like, right, the debt, the numbers improved by 10%. And, like, mathematically, from a logical sense, I can’t tell you why, but we started making more progress because I shifted what I focused on. And that was really what prompted so much of what I became known for, right? Working on removing the shame and the guilt around debt. And I didn’t even realize or understand, like, how powerful we can be. Like, if I’m an energetic match for that, it means I’m an energetic match for that amount of revenue. And I’ll link to other podcast episodes where we’ve talked specifically on that, ’cause that’s not really where I’m going today.
Two Ways We Protect Ourselves
The identity piece here, we shifted the shame. It’s like we’ve gotta stop beating ourselves up, but part of that shame, part of that guilt, the way that that can show up is, again, we’re not gonna look at it, like, right? We just block it out, don’t know, I’m not a numbers person, whatever, like, protective mechanism, protective walls we can throw up, throw them up, right? That’s one way we do that.
And the second way that we can, like, anchor into that shame, or really cling to it, right? We’re clinging to it, ’cause we want it to be there. Feels more protective. It’s known. It’s this is just the way it is. It’s always been a struggle for me. This has always been like this.
And you might have historical data that you could try and tell me that’s a fact, but it’s not a fact, ’cause a fact can’t be changed, and that story, that narrative can change now.
Fact vs. Story
Historically might be true. Now, infinite possibilities, and that can be harder to jump into. Okay? So I kinda wanna anchor this in with, we gotta look at the possibility.
What if it didn’t mean anything about you? What if that choice that you’re beating yourself up over, that debt number, for my example here, became the most pivotal part of your story? Think about any great movie. There’s always a part where it’s like the hero’s got knocked down, right? What if that was your hero’s knockdown moment that you come back from and your life is forever changed?
But you had to have that in order for this. What if it was a good thing? Just start to play with the possibility.
What a Budget Is Actually For
But we’ve gotta also have the system piece, right? Okay, so we had the identity and I had the system. I had both. And this is where a budget comes in, and we’re gonna talk about the personal budget here, ’cause this was our personal finances. So many times I hear like budget’s a four-letter word, I don’t have enough money to budget, I have this, like this part’s in place, I have my AI do it, I’ve got the categorization in the bank accounts.
None of those things are budgets. But your budget isn’t designed to restrict you. It’s not designed to limit you. All a budget does is it sets the intention of where you want your money to go. It’s not restrictive. If you want to restrict your spending, that’s your prerogative. Go for it, if that’s what you want to do.
But if you aren’t setting the intention of where you want your money to go, somebody else is. Marketing and advertising, billion-dollar industry, right? And it works. Great, fantastic. Love it. I market, I advertise. Hopefully you do, too, as a business owner, right? But you have to set the intention and be solid, again, in that identity piece, who you are, without letting all the stories, all the things that you’re letting mean about you. That’s all your budget’s doing.
And if I didn’t have the system in place and I was spiraling like that, things could have gotten out of control real fast. Your budget is also not tracking where your expenses were after the fact. Your budgeting is setting the intention beforehand, and most of us, we’ve gotta do the first part, right, before we can do the actual second part with the budget and set the intention.
Your Money and Your Business Are Intertwined
So you gotta set the intention of where you want your money to go personally, and if you don’t have this in place with your personal finances, your business is suffering. They’re so intertwined. You are your business. I mean, you’re not your business, but you are your business, ’cause you are the CEO. You’re running a personal brand, right? You are you. You’re in charge of both, and if your personal finances are a mess, it’s affecting how much cash flow, the clients, the revenue, the success you are having in your business.
So you gotta have a budget in place. You gotta have a budget that’s built on principles that actually work for you. Do not try and shove yourself into some cookie cutter thing. I know there are so many budgeting templates out there. You can go on a YouTube rabbit hole, right? There’s so many different things out there, but if you are shoving yourself in to fit into their little box, it’s not gonna be sustainable long-term.
Budgeting Simplified
You’ve gotta have a budget that works for you and for your finances, and that’s exactly what we do in Budgeting Simplified, okay? It’s principle-based budgeting. Here are the principles. Here are the things that we need to have in place. Here are the four different ways that I can think of that you can put this in place.
You come up with a different way, great. As long as we have these principles in your personal budget, you’re set up for success long-term. Now, Budgeting Simplified is available all the time. It’s actually getting a brand-new complete refresh. We’re redoing everything in the content, okay? So if you grab Budgeting Simplified right now, you’ll get the bonus calls that are going to come with the update, okay?
So https://aimeecerka.com/budget to grab Budgeting Simplified. You’ll get all the details, and of course, if you’re on my email list, you’re gonna get all of the updates as well when the re-release is coming out. And of course, if you are an Unstoppable Experience or Money Mastery Academy member, it’s already yours. It’s included with the program. You’ve got it all, okay?
I think that’s where we’re gonna leave it for today. Remember, you’ve got this, and I’ve got you. We’ll see you next time. Bye for now.
Thank you so much for listening to Money Simplified. My favorite place to hang out is on Instagram. You can find me @AimeeCerka to catch all the behind the scenes of my stories. Send me a message to share your biggest takeaway or just to say hi. I love hearing from podcast listeners. When you’re ready to take action on your mindset, your money, or the systems behind it all, I’m here for you.
Whether you’re snagging a free resource, exploring a mini course, diving into the fundamentals with Money Mastery Academy, getting in-depth support inside the Unstoppable experience, or scheduling a complimentary bookkeeping consult to finally get hands-on help with your books, your next step is waiting for you.
https://aimeecerka.com/podcastlinks has all the information, and of course, that link is hanging out in the show notes for you. We’ll see you next time.
