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A quick search of finances on answer the public and over half the searches had to do with handling finances in marriages and/or preparing for divorce. You’ve probably heard that finances are a leading cause of relationship problems and it’s no wonder! It’s hard to stay happy together when there’s financial stress.
Inside this episode, we’re talking about the “problems that occur,” myths we need to bust and my absolute favorite strategy to help “save” marriages
Budgeting Simplified – https://aimeecerka.com/budget
Instagram – https://instagram.com/aimeecerka
Podcast Key Points
0:00 – Episode Overview
2:02 – Two People In The Relationship
4:46 – Your Income Level
6:38 – The Way It Is
7:42 – You Already Got It Handled
8:15 – Recap 4 Main Obstacles
10:00 – Best Strategy To Save Marriages
12:54 – Episode Sponsorship – Budgeting Simplified
13:25 – Challenge – Are You The Spender Or The Saver In The Relationship
Frustrated that you aren’t making the progress that you should within your finances? Create an unshakable money mindset with the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist
How to Prevent Finances from Ruining Your Relationship
A quick search of finances on answer the public and over half the searches had to do with handling finances in marriage and or preparing for divorce. You’ve probably heard that finances are a leading cause to relationship problems and it’s no wonder it’s hard to stay happy together when there’s financial stress.
Inside this episode we’re talking about the problems that occur, the myths we need to bust and my absolute favorite strategy to help save marriages.
This is the Your Money Your Life podcast for ambitious women come together to have clarity prosperity and confidence with their money with out sacrificing precious time, and well-deserved fun. So let’s do this!
Welcome to the Your Money Your Life podcast. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. After my husband and I faced three major financial roadblocks in the last six years, I felt like I wasn’t doing all that I could and I had let my family down.
It always felt like life was a struggle, like I had to work harder than everyone else. It just came easy to do. And I didn’t feel worthy of success, until a coach helped me see the successes in our experiences instead of our failures. This allowed me to create and implement systems to grow our network by 200,000.
Plus, while spending time with my loved ones, and on my priorities. Now I help motivated women create the happiness, family life, financial security, and long term wealth they deserve. If you’re ready to eliminate stress, struggle, frustration and guilt within your finances, you’re in the right place. Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here.
Welcome back to the Your Money, Your Life podcast. I’m your host, Aimee Cerka. And today we’re talking about four ways that you can stop your finances from ruining your relationship. So, um, let’s just get to it.
Understanding Different Perspectives
Okay, so the first problem that we see come up is that your spouse just doesn’t understand, okay? There are two, well, there’s two people with this relationship, right. And we come both people will come from totally different backgrounds, their own set of perceptions, their own set of views, their own set of beliefs.
Typically, in the relationship, one person is a spender and one person is a saver, and even if we just boil it, boil it down to that, that we have differences in that regard. The problem is that you don’t feel your spouse understands, you’re not feeling heard, when it comes to money, because we are approaching things from two different beliefs. Okay, so we have to understand that your spouse is showing up from the best that they can.
So because we’re approaching this world, this relationship with a different set of beliefs, each person believes that what they’re doing is the right thing. If we understand there’s not a malicious intent behind it. This is what that person believes is right, and the way to do things based on their upbringings.
When we ignore that, and we don’t understand how we’re approaching things, we end up that we don’t feel heard, and then we get frustrated.
So we have to understand, like, first off, that neither person is doing this like just to be an awful person. And I’m sure that you can. There’s probably some extreme circumstances where there’s other factors involved like mental health and etc. But in general, that is not the intent.
There’s different goals or different priorities. There’s different belief systems that are showing up. So what else do we need to know we understand now that it’s like our spouse doesn’t understand because they have a different viewpoint.
And we’re going to get next week we’re going to talk about four questions that’ll help you reframe things and be able to move forward with a healthy relationship. So make sure you’re subscribed to the podcast. So you can check us out, check it out next week.
Avoid the “Make More Income” Trap
But the second thing that we need to be aware of related to stop finances from ruining our relationship is we have to say, we have to stop saying we just need to make more income. Because we’ve talked about time and time again, but we’re going to do it again. There’s somebody out there making 500 or $1,000 more, and saying the exact same thing.
We have to be able to manage things and move forward from where we’re at. Yes, we’re always looking to grow, we’re looking to move forward. And that is something that we should be working towards. But if we’re not taking care of where things are actually at, which we’re going to talk about, like your budget, and those things, like if we don’t know where things are actually at, that’s a problem.
And if we don’t know where things are at, one person is typically trying to take care of the finances. And they feel burdened. Because they’re doing all the work, they’re the one that has to say no, or they’re doing things and trying to make it work.
And it’s just not working. Because we haven’t stopped to look at where we’re actually at now, instead of just striving to make more income. So yes, we need to work towards making more income. But we do need to know where things are at now. And we need to be able to manage the money that we have effectively.
Breaking Free from “It’s Just the Way It Is”
Now. Another problem, another thing that we have to stop doing is saying it’s just the way it is. Now, this can be done in a couple of different ways, you can be saying this is just the way it is, that we’re never gonna be able to do better with our finances. Or this is just the way it is this is how I was raised.
This is my habits, this is who I am. But either way, regardless of the perspective on that, we’re never going to achieve perfection. But there’s always room for improvement, there’s always room to do better.
Embrace Growth and Improvement
And there’s better ways out there. Sometimes we don’t always have to be looking for like a complete new system. But we always should be looking for improvement. Because we can do better.
Which kind of brings us to the next part. The other thing that we say, we believe, and that is we’re already doing great. We’re already doing pretty good. You got handled right, you’re making enough money, things are decent, it’s not hurting.
But we don’t know what we don’t know.
And if the billionaires out there are still hiring coaches, and so working to improve themselves, we probably have room for improvement too. So we’re gonna get to my favorite strategy to help save marriages.
But let’s quickly recap what we’ve kind of talked about so far. So often, the ways that we see finances, ruining a relationship, they show up in these areas, so we’re removing those, so it stops ruining a relationship, right?
We understand now that our spouse just doesn’t understand. Because they have a different viewpoint. They have different upbringing, they have different belief systems, it’s not out of malicious intent that they’re, you know, the spender in the relationship or the saver in a relationship. It’s not that they don’t want you to feel heard. It’s they have a different perspective.
We also talked about when understanding that we have to know where things are actually at, we can’t just be out here saying, we just got to make more income. We’ve just got to make more income, you have to be able to handle things where you’re at now, and managing the money efficiently. Now.
We’re also going to stop saying it’s just the way it is. Whether that means your current financial situation, or your habits and the way that you show up and handle money. Either way, we’re not going to do that anymore either.
And then the fourth one was, we will stop saying “well, you can say you’re doing great.” But know that there’s always room for improvement. We’re going to continue to work to improve to always be looking to achieve that next level and know that that next level even exist out there. All right, ready?
Let’s talk about my favorite strategy to save marriages and it kind of handles. Part of the first one part of the second one. Yeah, a little bit both both.
The Secret to Saving Marriages: Percentage-Based Budgeting
So we’ve talked before that I love percentage based budgeting. It is the best way to budget by far that I found because it handles the inconsistent income. It scales with you as you grow, and it takes the stress out of budgeting for you.
So we talked about all inside Budgeting Simplified, right? We talked about how to do this, okay. But within your percentage based budgeting account, are within your percentage base budgeting, you have an account called, your Play account.
Okay, so a percentage of your income goes into your Play account, within the Play account, you have to blow money accounts, one for you, one for your spouse, they are separate. Okay, and that is your money to do whatever the heck you want with as long as it’s legal, moral and ethical, not promoting anything illegal here.
Creating “Blow Money” Accounts
It is equal off of income, it does not matter. If one of you makes 100k a year and what are you makes 60,000 a year, whatever the numbers are, their income equal, okay? Now, if you were like me and have several little hungry humans with you would you’re out using your blow money account, I do get more than my spouse because my kids are with me most of the time, when I’m out using the money.
Now if we’re out as a family, that’s not from my blow money account. That’s from the dining out, which is another part of the Play account fun game, we go into all of this inside Budgeting Simplified, okay. So as income equal, separate both of you get it, you can take the money out in cash, you can put it in a separate account.
So it’s your own little account, however you want. How much do you get to have to spend, that’s going to be determined by your budget, because it’s a percentage. Now, this saves marriages, because you know, one of us is a spender, one of us is a saver.
So the spender gets to go spend their blow money. And the saver can save their blow money. They can do whatever the heck they want.
Because it’s their little fund to go do whatever the heck they want with right? You get to have fun. And it’s so important because we have to create that positive relationship with money.
We’ll have to get into that in another day. But for now, we’ve talked about how we’re going to move forward with handling our relationship and finances so that our finances don’t have to ruin our relationship, right? And then we talked about the blow money accounts.
So if you were thinking like okay, I need to figure out that budgeting thing and the blow money accounts all of that. Budgeting Simplified is the four-week budgeting program to help you like budget for prosperity, stress free in four weeks. Okay?
So Budgeting Simplified is the place to be. If you’ve not already grabbed Budgeting Simplified, want to check it out. You can do so aimeecerka.com/budget. Make sure that link is below in the show notes for you.
Your Challenge: Are You a Saver or a Spender?
But your challenge for today? I want to hear it. Let’s have some fun. Send me a message over on Instagram. Are you the spender? Or are you the saver and the relationship?
So with that message I can’t wait to hear from you. And we’ll see you next week for another episode of the Your Money Your Life podcast. Bye for now.
Explore Your Next Steps
Thank you so much for listening to the Your Money Your Life podcast. Wondering what’s next? When you’re ready, there are different levels of support that you can use on the path to creating unstoppable finances and your unstoppable life.
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