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How Does Your Prior Trauma Effect Your Money And Money Management With Kylie Ota – Ep. 69
Is it one size fits all for your finances? Not at all. In fact, prior trauma affects your finances and how you handle it… In today’s special episode, we’re back with Kylie Ota talking about how trauma and burnout affect your money, plus Kylie shares some insights into her experiences inside my Money Masters Inner Circle Academy, so let’s do this!
Money Masters Inner Circle Academy: https://aimeecerka.com/academy
Free Inflation Training Kylie Mentioned: https://aimeecerka.com/inflation
Connect With Kylie
Connect With Aimee
Work With Aimee: https://workwithaimee.com
Podcast Key Points
0:00 – Episode Overview
02:15 – Trauma-Effecting Archetypes
05:34 – Tools To Prevent Burnout
12:00 – Finances And Your Personality
17:23 – Sponsorship – Academy
19:05 – Is The Academy Right For You
23:42 – Burnout Archetype Quiz
Frustrated that you aren’t making the progress that you should within your finances? Create an unshakable money mindset with the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist
How Trauma and Burnout Can Affect Your Finances: Insights from Kylie Ota
Is it a one size fits all for your finances? Not at all.
In fact, prior trauma affects your finances and how you handle it. In today’s special episode, we’re back with Kylie Ota, talking about how trauma and burnout affects your money. Plus, Kylie shares some insights into her experiences inside my Money Masters Inner Circle Academy. So, let’s do this!
Welcome to the Your Money Your Life podcast. I’m your host Aimee Cerka. After over 10 years in the personal finance industry and multiple personal financial and medical crisis, I was fed up with the lies are being shouted from the rooftops by the Guru’s and the media.
So now, I help you the ambitious woman step into unstoppable finances. When you step into unstoppable finances, you create financial abundance that aligns with your personal values and goals. Without working 80 hours plus work weeks, without pinching pennies, without worrying how you’ll handle the next curveball life throws your way.
And as simple to the point kind of way, being married, having four kids at home homeschooling being a CEO running the household, I’m kind of busy. And I know that you are too. So here, we get straight to the point. If you’re ready to eliminate fear, stress, struggle, frustration and guilt, from your finances, and all the areas they affect. You’re in the right place. Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.
Hey, we’re back talking about burnout and how it relates to your money and business, the trauma that you might have experienced other factors and the tools to help you if you miss it.
This is part two of the interview where I’m joined by Kylie Ota, an NLP certified business strategist. She specializes in burnout recovery. The interview was just so value-packed, we split it up into two parts. This is part two. So, let’s dive in!
Understanding the Impact of Trauma on Finances
How does trauma in the past contribute to how you show up in your business and or your finances? Because you talked a little bit about that briefly with the perfectionist one, how we can see that but maybe how do some of the other ones, things and trauma that we’ve experienced in the past? How does that show up and affect the different archetypes?
Yeah. Yeah, so with the Powerhouse archetype. She’s very controlling. I’ll say very, but she’s usually the leader. She’s a natural born leader. And she’s always taking charge.
So, some of the trauma that she’s experienced is maybe you know, a lazy parent, or maybe a single parent household where she may be the oldest child and had to take on a lot of responsibility because the parent wasn’t really stepping up. Or you know, the parent, that maybe they’re there. Or I’ll just say, there’s some alcoholism involved where there is a lot of codependency, where there was an abusive parent, and then a codependent parent.
And so, she felt like there was so many variables out of her control.
So, once she was able to gain some control, she probably left the house at an early age 16, 17, 18 so that she could have control over her life and make the decisions that she wanted to make because she felt like she was held back because of some of the parenting. And just things that were going on in the home.
And when it comes to finances, right, you’ll find that the powerhouse archetype is very controlling with money.
So, I’ll say she likes to spend. She will invest in like, in her education, in certifications. She will invest in betterment. And I will say this archetype is kind of the flashy-er archetype because she wants to display her success.
She wants everyone to know that, yes, I did this I got myself here. I was able to buy myself this. You know, red bottom shoes, this fancy car, because status is very important to the Powerhouse.
But then there’s also that the issue of control so like, say if she is married. She may have issues with, like trying to control the finances because she’s scared that her partner may do something bad for the finances because of what she saw growing up.
That makes a lot of sense and how we’ve talked about even like previously on the show, we do like, the past trauma, and it might not even like for those listening it again, like we’ve talked about, it’s not always necessarily what actually happened.
It’s how we perceive things that happen. So sometimes we hear these labels and these explanations, and we like tune it out, because it’s like, oh, that’s not me. But if we kind of pull back the picture of like, what you felt and what you experienced, and again, there’s nothing wrong with our emotions. We just need to be aware of how we’re interpreting things.
That was really good. I liked that. Thank you. Um, what do you use? And I guess how can I put myself in the hot seat? Hot Seat? How can I avoid burnout in my business with systems and specific tools geared for entrepreneurs?
Yeah, well, you know me. I have been labeled the automations queen. And you and I geek out a lot about Zapier and other workflow, automations. So that’s the number one tool or system that I recommend is workflow automations.
Anything that you don’t need your face. Or the you don’t need to show up for like this podcast, I’m here. I need to be speaking on this podcast. There’s no way that I could automate this. Right.
I took excerpts and blurbs and I like we melded it all together with some kind of AI bot. But you know, maybe we’ll get there someday, or I don’t even have to show up and do these interviews. I love to write, but that was take so much extra work.
So, but yes, workflow automation software, there’s so many different tools. But even if you don’t have like the Zapier, and all of that, is having an email funnel, like a lead magnet with an email funnel, with a welcome sequence that leads people to whatever you’re trying to sell as an entrepreneur, that I was on another podcast earlier today.
And we talked about email automations. And that is the bread and butter of, you know, getting people onto your email list. And having people subscribe to like, yes, social media is cool, and whatever. And you can have a chat bot set up for that.
So, you notice all of the things that I’m talking about, are things that can be automated, that don’t need your face. How many times have you gone to your DMS and like, I’ll have to respond back to that person. Like, yes, it doesn’t have to be a chat bot.
But you can set up like a copy and pasting. So, for example, my podcast, I have an automation setup where I just type hashtag podcast. And it’s a keyboard shortcut on the iPhone that I use. So, whenever someone’s interested in being on my podcast, I say hashtag podcast, enter, and it sends the whole email in a DM for anyone who’s interested.
And there’s a link on there, that takes them to the inquiry form. And they fill out the form. And it pre-populates a Google Doc and they get on my calendar. And all I have to do is show up to that one appointment and the Google Docs already made for me.
And there’s so much red tape that’s cut out and not having to do all of those. Those admin tasks yourself. Is those little for me. I don’t like doing any of that manually. Any of it? And then oh, you love workflow, automations, too.
Yes. And I would think that you’re probably going to agree with this. But if even if you’re not to the point, that you’re able to completely automate it. If you write things out, like step by step by step by step, it takes that mental thought process away from it.
And you don’t have to sit there and be like, What the heck do I need to do next? You already know what you’re going to need to do next. So that almost feels like step one for me.
But yes, total workflow automation. And as a side note, if you’re an Android user, as well, we have the keyboard shortcuts also, because I’m Android and I have those too. So, you’re good. No excuses there.
So, here’s something that I said on a masterclass that I did last month. Systems are like Spanx.
Okay. So, you know, a lot of the times were like, especially for those of us who are not, like creating SOPs are like your worst nightmare. If they, you know, it feels like a straitjacket.
It’s actually Spanx because it holds you in like Aimee says. So, I will speak to this as far as like mental health is concerned when I was going through one of my deepest valleys of my Life, and I almost committed suicide. Well, I attempted I didn’t, obviously, I’m still alive. So, it was unsuccessful.
But when I was going through that deep depression, what kept me going every day, were these little post-it notes.
And so, all they were like little SOPs in the bathroom, like, brush your teeth, put on your deodorant, because there were times where my brain was wigging out because of the stress and like, trying to stay one step ahead of my abusive husband. Like just wondering what he’s gonna cook up today.
You know, so my brain was so tied up on that trauma. Without those little sticky post-it notes up in my bathroom, I had one in my kitchen. So that, okay, what am I doing today? How do I pack my lunch?
Okay, step one, step two, step three, and I’ll tell you why I had to have that is. I started work at I had to leave my house at 4am. So, I wake up at three, when I was working in corporate, I would wake up at three, and I had to be at work. I would have to leave the house by four.
So, without having those little SOPs written out everywhere, I would not remember certain things and like just those extra time that he had. Oh, like, I’m already in the kitchen, I forgot to put on my deodorant.
You know, just walking back and forth through the house, it was eating up so much of my time. I had to make these little SOPs for myself, just even around the house.
Yep. And I have one. I use a checklist app that I have for like getting me the kids ready every morning. And it literally has on there, make my bed brush, my teeth get dressed.
It might seem silly, but I don’t have to think about it. And when you check it off, probably in the void my archetype here. But I’m gonna get the win, because like I’ve done it, and like, Hey, I accomplished that. So, it like it makes things so much easier when you do that.
Right? The dopamine hits.
The dopamine hits. What is one idea that you think that majority of people get wrong? Maybe like a myth that you want to bust? Like, hey, that is not how this actually is?
Yeah. Well, I’m just gonna say, it’s not one size fits all, whether it’s business or finances. And it’s not one size fits all.
And the way I love that Aimee talks about the trauma, and just different circumstances that leads us to managing our finances, in that we have been managing it, right. Like, Aimee teaches us how to have unstoppable finances where we don’t have to be held back by the fears that we, that we’ve had growing up.
And it allows us to really expand and come into our own and manage our finances, the way that we need to.
If you’re inside of Aimee’s program, like I am. You’ll see she has a lot of charge. She has a lot of spreadsheets that we can use, but working with Aimee personally, she’s gotten to know me. She knows what I like, or I don’t like.
Automation as a Tool for Financial Success
Like, I love everything automated. So, she helped me come up with a process to automate my finances where and you know, I have what does that inconsistent income, right?
I’m an entrepreneur, my husband gets paid inconsistently, like his paychecks are not the same every month, because there’s overtime and stuff factored in holiday pay, things like that. So, it’s not consistent every month. And so, she helped me to create a plan with an app, which I love. Right?
So, we set it up on Mint. And there’s other apps that you can use to set up your budget like YNAB and other budgeting software’s, but I needed something that would automatically grab the data. Put it somewhere, and then all I have to do is just analyze the data.
We worked for a couple of months on this like, oh, did you know I didn’t, because just that manual labor like that it’s like carrying data over? I was like, I don’t even carry data over in like my business. I just and when she figured that out for me. It’s like, Oh, right. I could just do it in the software. I like bingo. That works for me.
So that’s one myth that I want to dispel today is finances are not one size fits all. Yes, the principles of finances are the principles of money are constant, right? Rule of 72 is a constant but how you manage it what you invest in.
I mean, that’s why in the stock market you can buy whatever first stock you want. To say I could buy Disney stock because I like Disney, and then that would make managing a stock portfolio fun for me because I’m already following these people on social media, like they are part of my world.
And so, they’re managing it doesn’t matter if I don’t play stocks. I’m not a day trader at all. But just saying, like, if you can make finances fun for you, and tie it into something that you love doing, or something that is naturally occurring, that’s what will make finances fun for you.
And if it’s not fun, it won’t get done. Well, if you’re my archetype, if it’s not fun, it won’t get done.
And just knowing how you are understanding whether it’s your burnout archetype, or just your basic personality type, understanding how you are and how your base of how you’re created. Understanding that is the key to making anything easier.
I love it all.
The Link Between Trauma and Spending Habits
And you know, we’ve talked about it we just talked about, like impulse spending and why we need to be impulse spending here on the podcast. And that’s all it goes back to like if we don’t enjoy things. We’re not going to keep doing it. And you totally nailed that, Kylie.
Oh, okay. Remember that one time we were on a coaching call. And I was going through my finances and I was like dopamine purchase dopamine purchase.
So that’s, Oh my God, it was so funny. Like my husband and I still use that term dopamine purchase till today. And I will tell you, it has helped our finances because whether like he calls me out on it, or I call him out on it and like dopamine purchase like, does the pet really need a new toy? That’s a dopamine purchase. And then he’s like, Oh, well, do you really need a Starbucks right now? Dopamine?
I mean, she is a cute dog though. Just saying.
Yes. Like no, she does not need a bajillion. And one more toy. No. Maybe not.
Money Masters Inner Circle Academy
This episode is brought to you by Money Masters Inner Circle Academy ready to fall in love with your money, then I’d love to help you inside Money Masters Inner Circle Academy.
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You’re gonna have more confidence, more fun and more profitability, using less of your precious time as you step into unstoppable finances and your unstoppable wife. In honor of Valentine’s Day in the spirit of love, if you enroll by the 20th of 2023.
So, February 20 2023, I’m gonna give you a bonus of one month of unstoppable support. What that means is you get me in your pocket via Voxer to help you navigate as you dive into things, the hardest thing to do is getting started. And now I’ll be right alongside with you every step of the way. To check it out and enroll, simply visit aimee.cerka.com/academy. And I’ll see you on the inside and back to the episode.
Now, of course, we talked a little bit about of course you are inside the academy. Can you talk a little bit about like how some of the results that you’ve seen being in the academy? Can you maybe speak to what you were feeling what you were thinking that when you made the decision to enroll inside the academy?
Yeah. Well, we’re friends online, and I saw that you’re hosting the inflation workshop. And oh, yeah, I would like to learn more about that. And just the way that you explained how inflation works. Some of the stuff I already knew, but then I knew we were aligned, you know, like the way that you think about things of the world.
And I say, oh, and she gets me and the way that you broke down inflation and made it so simple. Like okay if she can make inflation something as, like, let’s say, even the government can explain inflation. They keep changing the definition but right, because you are able to break things down in such a simple way.
For me, I had a lot of fear and trauma built up, not my personal finances, per se, but a lot of traumas built up around how much money.
I had invested in my business up to this point. And being able to manage and keep up with all of that was really weighing on me. And then having that added impact of what’s happening in our economy right now. I was like, Oh, maybe I can’t.
I’m gonna say I can’t manage my finances on my own. But it would be great to partner with someone who understands not only entrepreneurship, but also inflation and things that are happening in the market, and they can help me understand and break things down. So that it’s not so scary.
Embracing Unstoppable Finances
And I love that, you use unstoppable finances. And at first, I was like, what does that mean? But now I understand. You know, unstoppable means different things for different people.
And once I fully understood, like, what would make me unstoppable in my finances, what would make it less fearful for me to show up and actually look at my numbers? Because I had gotten to a point where I’m like, I don’t really want to look at my numbers today.
And being in the academy and working with you. And talking about the fears and the traumas, just like talking about the defensive strategies, but not only the defensive, that’s what we think about with budgeting as a defensive strategy.
But we also talk about the offensive strategy. And as entrepreneurs, we can, I would say, our offensive strategies are kinda limitless, because we can create products, we can create things to sell. And so therefore, our offensive strategies are kind of limitless.
And I just love that we bounced back and forth between the defense and the offense and having the clear picture of okay, this this was happening in your offensive strategy. This is what’s happening in your defensive strategy.
And then how do the two come together? And are you in the red? Are you in the black?
Just seeing it all in one clear picture, and like one overall picture has helped so much. And I’m not scared of finances anymore. Which is huge because if you’re an entrepreneur, and you’re not looking at your numbers that’s one of the hats we have to wear; that CFO hat. Yeah.
That was so sweet.
I do feel that way learning all the things.
I’m like, I really am unstoppable. I mean, money is just a tool. And it’s how we use the tool is what matters. And you’re teaching me so many different ways to use tools, like what tools do I have at my disposal? And not to be ashamed of how I’m using the tools?
Yes, that is so true. And I love that you see that. So, thank you.
Navigating Burnout and Financial Behavior through the Burnout Archetype Quiz
We want to share the free gift with the listeners. So that is the burnout archetype quiz, right? So why don’t you tell us a little bit about that, and then where to access that.
Okay, so you heard me talk about all the four different archetypes today and the burnout archetype quiz is it’s a super-fast quiz. I think it only takes like one to two minutes to go through. I mean, unless you’re a perfectionist kind of take. They may over-analyze.
So, if you go to the quiz, there are four answers for each question. There are about 25 questions. And all you do is you pick the word that you most associate with.
So, you can pick the word as quickly or as slowly as you want. But it really should be your first intuitive hit the one that hits you, right there. Just pick it and we’re trying to bypass the conscious mind and go to the unconscious to really dig deep and see what is that underlying thread that is the fabric for your archetype.
So, you’ll go through those 25 questions and then at the end, it’ll spit out your blurb. And then if you want it, you know take a screenshot and just shout me out on social media. I’m @kylie.ota on Instagram, because I’ve heard it.
And it’s something that I kind of mushed together like I wish together all of the different personality quizzes that I’ve learned and I kind of made it the bend towards entrepreneurship. So, it still tickles my bones when I hear people say, oh my gosh is so resonated with that, because, you know, it’s something that I created out of like I wrote them specifically for this quiz.
And it’s still tickles, tickling my bones when people shout me out on social media and say, this all resonated with me. And if it doesn’t resonate with you, then that’s fine, too. Shout me out. Anyway, I’ll go back and see if I can revamp it and make it better for you all. Absolutely. Where is that link at? Oh yeah, Burnoutarchetypequiz.com.
I will make sure I have that listed in the show notes and best place to find you online.
If you want to send me a DM on Instagram, I’m @kylie.ota K-Y-L-I-E. OTA. I’m pretty much in my DM.
So that’s the one thing that I have not automated yet, because I am a powerhouse archetype. But I’m also part of the popular archetype. And I love, I love meeting new people on everything in the DM.
So yeah, just hit me up there. Or you can go to my website, kylieota.com. And everything you need on there is there my podcast is on there, the quiz is also on there. Some blogs and articles about burnout are on there as well.
So, if you’re interested in learning more about burnout, and you’re not necessarily sure if you are in burnout, or if you fit the bill, you can go ahead and take a look at some of those blogs on there and see if you are burnt out because I didn’t know why I was burnt out.
And that’s why I’m so passionate about bringing burnout awareness to the world because I didn’t even know I was burnt out. And I was this close to you know, not making it. And without that awareness, I wouldn’t have known. You know.
Yep, that makes total sense. And you just launched a podcast, what is the name of your podcast, and we’ll make sure we include that as well.
The Burnt Out Entrepreneur Podcast
Oh my god, I started The Burnt Out Entrepreneur podcast. And I’ll just say that’s one of the offensive strategies and Aimee has been helping me work on and it is so fun for me, because the popular archetype in me loves coming on here loves talking. And it’s a great way for me to create content because I don’t like writing.
So, the marketing felt so hard when I had to do it that way. You know, start an email list or send an email that wasn’t happening for me. Ever since I started the podcast. I love showing up. I love talking and meeting new people. It’s been so fun and just having that in my offensive strategy has made a big difference in how I show up for my own business.
Yay. I love hearing that we will make sure we have all the links included below in case you missed ’em or you’re driving. That’s it for now. We’ll see you next week on the Your Money Your Life podcast.
Thank you so much for listening to the Your Money Your Life podcast. Wondering what’s next? When you’re ready. There are different levels of support that you can use on the path to creating unstoppable finances and your unstoppable life. After all, your finances are unique and your support should be to.
Ultimately, we’ll create a customized plan to ditch financial struggle for good that works for you. Your goals, your priorities, your life. Go to workwithaimee.com to get started with one of our most popular programs, or you can book a q&a call with me, and we’ll figure out what your next step should be.
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