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Your Money When Navigating Grief with Kylie Ota – Ep. 106
Have you ever felt the impact of money, grief, or burnout in your life?
In today’s special episode, I’m joined by my friend and client, Kylie Ota, to discuss the powerful link between money, grief, and burnout.
While it’s an essential topic, be aware that we talk about sensitive subjects like grief and death. Listen when you’re ready. Let’s jump right in.
Kylie Ota on the podcast:
- Navigating Burnout And Your Finances: https://aimeecerka.com/68
- How Does Your Prior Trauma Effect Your Money And Money Management: https://aimeecerka.com/69
Connect With Kylie:
- Website: https://kylieota.com/
- Burnt Out Entrepreneur Podcast: https://www.kylieota.com/podcast/
- Burn Out Entrepreneur Quiz: http://www.burnoutarchetypequiz.com/
Connect With Aimee:
- Cash Flow Calculator: Message me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/aimeecerka
- Text Question to 817-969-4653 – Click Here From Mobile
- Work with Aimee: https://workwithaimee.com
Wondering What’s Next?
- 14 Day Money Mastery Action Plan –https://aimeecerka.com/action/
Frustrated that you aren’t making the progress that you should within your finances? Create an unshakable money mindset with the Money Mindset Mastery Checklist
Your Money When Navigating Grief with Kylie Ota
Aimee Cerka 00:00
Today is a bit of a special episode. I am joined by my good friend and client, Kylie Ota, a repeat guest on the podcast, I’ll have to link to her earlier episodes from this year because they were golden as well. But she recently experienced a very major loss.
And I had an interesting experience with a loss from six years ago recently, and being the burnout, coach expert that she is and of course, you know, me and my money expertise, we decided to have a conversation about money and grief and burnout. And essentially, you get to listen in as we kind of chat through some of these things that are so important and so vital.
This is my disclaimer, that we are talking about grief, we are talking about, you know, loss, death and those things.
So, I would love for you to take a listen and I think this is a very important topic, but I want you to be able to make the decision to listen to it as well. So without further ado, let’s get to it.
Aimee Cerka 01:24
This is the Your Money Your Life podcast. I’m your host Aimee Cerka, a Money Confidence Coach for female entrepreneurs on the path to six figures. After over 10 years in the personal finance industry and multiple personal financial and medical crisis.
I was fed up with the lines that are being shouted from the rooftops by the Gurus and the media said. I help you simplify, solidify and scale your money. By blending tactile money strategies with mindset work, you can create unstoppable finances together, you’ll finally figure out the money thing so you can make more money in less time without living off of beans and rice, or sacrificing your lifestyle.
Episodes here on the podcasts are short and sweet. Being married, having four kids at home, homeschooling being the CEO running the household. I’m kind of busy. And I know you are too. So let’s keep it simple and get to the point. Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here.
Kylie Ota 02:28
Oh my gosh, like when I texted? Did I text you or you texted me, but
Aimee Cerka 02:33
I texted you because I was in the car. And like all of a sudden, I was just having all of these like podcast ideas. I was like writing them down. And I was like, we should talk about grief and money.
This is probably how I’m gonna start the podcast. We finally figured it out. We’re just gonna go with it.
Kylie Ota 02:51
Yeah, yeah. So, and but right when you sent it to me out, I was in that mode where I was like, I was thinking about all of them. Things that I wanted to spend, right, we’ve talked before, you know, on like, the coaching calls like, “Oh, these dopamine purchases.”
And I was in like this dopamine Fallout, I’ll call it where I’m like, oh, like, I’m hurting. Like, I’m so used to buying things. When I’m in pain, whether it’s, you know, I watch too much cleanTOK.
And I want to buy something that’s gonna make me feel better about my house, because I’m so overwhelmed. And my house is like, “Oh, well, maybe if I got some, you know, cubes for my calyx over there. Yeah, that will help.” So I don’t have to see the visual clutter.
Not having to deal with the clutter. But I’ll just shove it in a box and it’ll look pretty. And I don’t have to be visually honest, say stimulated, but visually present to it.
Aimee Cerka 03:58
Kylie Ota 04:01
And there’s so many times where, like, I want to buy something. And my husband will be like, “do you really need that?” And ever since we came up with the term dopamine purchase, he’s like, “Ah, is that another dopamine purchase?”
And I’m like, he’ll catch me on those things that I’m like, “Hey, you have some dopamine activities that you like to do. So like golfing? Like, gee, like, that’s a lot.” Well, I have a gym membership. So well, that’s a lot too.
Aimee Cerka 04:37
Multipurpose, right. I love that y’all call Yeah. call each other out on it like that. I love hearing that. That always. It’s fun.
But there’s also like that. I guess before we go farther, a little backstory for those that are listening. Why don’t you share a little bit that you feel comfortable with about like the lofts that you just experienced? And why this is so timely, prevalent? Yeah.
Understanding the Grief-Money Connection
Kylie Ota 04:59
So So I just recently lost my best friend of 40 years, aging myself. She just turned 45. I’ll be 45 at the end of this year, and she had endometrial carcinoma, which is a cancer that started in the endometrial area.
And by the time that they caught it, this past March, she was just having some pain. And I know some women listening like, “oh, like, I get pains every month.” But her pain just didn’t go away. So she just decided to take care of it.
And when she went in, there was a tumor, the size of an avocado. And right, so they did a biopsy, and it was malignant. And they saw, right, all the protocols, they scanned her. It had metastasized to her lungs.
So from March, and then right now, at the time of this recording, it is September she just passed a week ago. And yeah, it just by the time they found it, it was stage four, and it’s type three, the aggressive type. And it just took over her body.
And the amazing thing is, well, she’s my best friend. You don’t know a whole lot about me, right? I love planning, I used to be a launch manager. And so like she and I are very similar in that way. So she had all of her end of life, things planned out. And I’m also part of that process now.
But that’s the kind of the gift of having cancer, instead of it being a car accident or something that, you know, you leave this world abruptly, she was able to call us in and talk to us. And I was able to process a lot of the grief upfront, because I knew she was passing. And even when she I went back home in August to see our final goodbyes, because that’s what she said.
They told her that cancer was spreading even more rapidly. And she only had a little bit of time left. So she wanted to say goodbye while she was still coherent, because the tumors had kind of shifted and moved up to her brain.
Her lymph nodes, like it was just starting to go everywhere. And I was able to do that. And then in this past week, or whatever, I had an urge to kind of ask the husband like, how is she doing. And it just so happened, she had an end of life meeting that day, because they told her she didn’t really have that much more time to go.
And I decided to just jump on a plane. I’m from Hawaii. So I had that jump from here in LA, I flew back home to Hawaii. I got to see her for her last three days here on this earth. And I was able to process my grief with her because, you know, we knew that she was at the end.
And it’s weird how God kind of in each instance, there was an urge to talk to her or reach out to her. And that’s also part of my grieving process is okay. I got to be more in touch with God and listening to the functions of the Holy Spirit where it’s like, “Okay, God, you are here you are present.”
And that made it like 1000 times easier to process the grief because I knew that God was with me. He was preparing me for the loss, even like, words that I was getting, you know, like people that I follow online.
I was just getting these words about transition. I mean, I’m transitioning in my business and in like my ministry, like a lot of things are shifting there. So it applied there, but I was like, how appropriate that there’s this heavenly transition that just happened.
And so anyway, all through that, you know, God had been preparing me for the grief. So the grief for me has come in waves, like when I hear a popular song that we seem to. We grew up in the 80s. So you know, 80s music will pop on I’m like, oh, and then it’ll just remind me when we had these good memories, but it’s been a blessing to have those memories, you know?
But when we’re talking about the money and the grief. You know, there’s so many people who I’ve experienced this with other passings, where money is like people fight over money, and of life, you know, it’s like, the body’s not even in the ground, and they’re having these conflicts about okay, who gets the inheritance? Who gets the car? Who gets the this and, and oh my gosh, that’s like the worst. So that’s I don’t know this my little backstory about grief and money.
Aimee Cerka 10:14
And I’m glad you brought that up about like the inheritance piece. In that part because there’s like with my grandmother, my maternal grandmother passing there was wasn’t even really necessarily like a about the money originally, but then it kind of became about the money and there was like, people were hurt and they talk. Remember who were speaking with him who was a funeral director and they talk about this is like Word that happens all the time, because emotions are so high when you’re processing grief like that.
The Impact of Grief on Financial Decision-Making
Kylie Ota 10:49
Yeah, yeah. And, you know, there are different ways to process grief as well. Like, each person does it differently. And like, well, you know, me, I had to bring my archetypes into it.
And I just did a post yesterday about it, right, you have the people who handle things differently, like the perfectionist, which is, like my friend, right. She planned her end of life things and keeping herself busy and doing, you know, doing those things. It’s one way that people manage grief, you know, and then there are other people who are, you know.
Like, I called her the hippie, the spiritual hippie. Because, right, there are people who kind of what I shared earlier, right, I’m really okay with her passing, because I believe in the afterlife, and she’s in a better place and right. She’s not in pain anymore.
Like, when she was in her last days, they were managing her respiratory. And because that had gone into her lungs, her lungs were at 50% capacity. So as she was starting to struggle with her breathing, that’s what I think kind of took her life.
I mean, there’s an autopsy and whatever that’s been done, but she was just having a really hard time breathing. And I was actually happy when she passed because of the circumstances, then because I understand that there is an afterlife, and I’ll get to see her in heaven. And I told her, I said, “Hey, make sure you say that mentioned next to yours.”
For me, and our kids can play in the, you know, in the backyard together again, because our kids are about the same age, as well. And like our kids and our grandkids can play together. So like, that’s my belief.
And that’s what helped me to process the grief. So, you know, just people deal with grief differently. And even like, with money, like some people will want to just go on and spend money, like they see like, okay, it’s the end of life. Like, oh, gosh, life is too short.
We got to go in the big and then they start spending all this money because they feel like life is too short, or you know, like they’re hit with this.
Life is too short. I need to just do it all now and do it all being and then they go on a spending spree, not realizing that, hey, you know, like, you’re still here. You still need to have enough money to live until like, who knows when you know, you’ll live until it could be 80. It could be 100.
I mean, it could be tomorrow, you never know when you’re gonna go. But like, those are those people who are a little bit myopic, like, oh, life is short, like, what if I, my life ends tomorrow, right? And then they start spending money. And then there’s the other people who start to hoard because life is too short. Right?
Aimee Cerka 13:52
Life is too short.
Kylie Ota 13:56
Yeah, but just the how they’re looking at things.
Planning Ahead: Financial Resilience in the Face of Loss
Aimee Cerka 14:00
Yeah, so yeah, I feel like it’s everything within moderation. Like there are times like to give yourself grace and like, yes, we can spend money and especially if you like you have the system set up. That like we talked about and the things that like we’ve worked on as we’ve worked together, if you had those things in place, you know where certainly the boundary but that’s like the best word that comes to mind that that where the boundary is that you can let yourself spend and it’s not over over what you can afford it and save on the other side.
Like if you are like okay shutting down and you’re not really living life anymore, because you know, life is so short, we feel like we have to save and hold on to everything. You still have those systems in place showing you where you do need to spend money, and you do need to enjoy the wife and like everything, like in grace and having the tools in place.
Like whether you’re working with a coach or you’ve got the system. I mean, I think you and I both agree it’s always better when you’re working with a coach because you have that person to bounce off of and be like, “Hey, this is what I’m feeling like, is this? Is this realistic? With the purchase you’re making?”
Like, “is it a realistic purchase that I should make? Or should I like, hold out? Is this something that like, making sure you’re not going to the extreme, but also giving yourself the space to, to heal and process things?”
And I know, I shared I think I shared briefly with you. So if you watch Virgin River, this is a spoiler alert. When we were out of town on vacation, I was watching the latest season of Virgin River what is the season five.
And it has been super Cowen’s five, so 2017, six years, little over six years since I had my miscarriage. But the main character goes through a miscarriage. And even though all this time had passed, there was a scene and it wasn’t even like the actual miscarriage like I was sad, because, you know, you’re involved with the character story, right.
And like, you’re sad for that. But after she was waiting to go in for the DNC, and they’re sitting in the truck outside, and she’s like, “I don’t want to go in yet”, because like this is the hardest part. See if I can do this without crying because it just it caught me so off guard. How much I felt it.
Because you go into the waiting room, and everyone else in there is there to check up on their baby. And you’re not because you lost your baby. And that was the exact same thing that I had experienced. When I had to go in for my post loss.
I guess you would call it sonogram to make sure like everything had passed. I chose not to do the DNC, so we had to do the sonogram to make sure everything was back to normal. And there was three other families and one of them was doing the gender reveal, like I can still remember everything and they’re all there to check on your baby.
And you’re sitting there by yourself alone, and I just lost it was like in hysterical tears. My husband was there, thankfully, so it was like I had somebody to comfort me, but I was totally caught off guard by how much like how real it felt like how recent it felt all over again. And so it’s not always a matter of like this just happen, like you talked about it comes in waves.
And apparently, like, you know, the time doesn’t necessarily matter. And you know, time heals all wounds, but some of them are still there. So even if it’s not a recent loss, this is still applicable.
Coping with Grief’s Unpredictable Waves
Kylie Ota 17:34
Yeah, I was just talking to a client yesterday. Cuz she’s like, “I don’t know why I’m crying right now, cuz I’m happy.” And I said, “You know what, those are probably old tears. You know, a, some part of you is either grieving or processing.”
We’re talking about an old relationship that she was in. And there’s just layers that are unprocessed. So, you know, think it’s okay. So, you know, if you’re listening to either my story or Aimee’s story, you have your own grief story.
And like, tears are starting to come and you’re like, but I thought I processed it already. Just be okay, that this is old tears. You know, it’s not something I thought I had passed and whatever, you know, it’s like, new thoughts will come up.
And like I said, when I was listening, like an 80’s Jam came on at the gym, and I was like, about to lose it. Because I had just, when we drive long distances, I turn on this Spotify playlist, and it’s 80s because my husband and I grew up in the 80s. And yeah, and that was one of the last texts that I sent her where she was still texting back and forth.
I screenshot I was like, “hey, thinking of you”, because we used to sing it all the time. We are going up and a karaoke, you know, thinking of you. And, you know, like I said, it comes in waves and not that I would be embarrassed to cry at my gym, because it’s a super comfortable place.
For me, I’m there pretty much every day. Like I have so many friends there. But I just didn’t feel like releasing them at the time. So, you know, you can choose when you release your emotions, but you know, you have to release them somehow. Some way or they will manifest in a different part of your life or different part of your body.
For me, I’m a burnout coach. So I had burnout, but when I was looking back at the precursors and really trying to understand burnout, because, you know, I was under the impression that “oh, it was just because I was a shift worker for so many years.” And my body was burnt out.
And it’s like, “no, wait. There are other aspects of burnout.” Like there’s some mental capacity, there’s the emotional capacity, like, I was depleted in a whole lot of those areas, and not necessarily in that part of my life, because I had already, I got remarried, and everything was good.
But I wasn’t taking into account the emotional damage that I had acquired in a previous relationship. And I was like, “Oh, my goodness.” So these scars, you know, emotional scars were also part of why I was feeling so burnt out, and why my body was reacting in a certain way in causing the cortisol, the adrenals, and all of that to kind of implode on itself and say, “oh, okay”, because I’m like, I’m sleeping, okay.
But my cortisol was still having a hard time resetting. And I was like, oh, it’s deeper, the more I started to do more work on myself. And I just, I went down the rabbit hole of healing, and I’m still down on that rabbit hole.
Building a Financial Safety Net for Grief
Aimee Cerka 21:21
The never ending rabbit hole, right? Like, we continue to do and it’s like, okay, even though we know like that, we don’t arrive. It’s kind of like I thought we had that figured out by now.
And then it’s like, this whole new layer that like we get to work on and we’re still working on it ourselves. I think that’s what allows us to help our clients so much as well, like, because we see like, you know, we’re on this journey to it’s not like this whole, we’ve arrived on this pedestal thing like night, like, the stuff sucks, right?
Kylie Ota 21:48
Like your post? Was it today or yesterday, where you’re like, “hey, I went over budget today.”
Aimee Cerka 21:53
Yes, like, wherever budget, eight categories for those of the behind the scenes, like my budget app is like you were over budget and eight categories right now. And I’m like, okay, like, “it is what it is, and moving forward.” And it’s not, it doesn’t define me.
And just where you’re at now, like, going through like these grief processes, even if you are in like a really high wave like that, it doesn’t define you. And I think working to know, like, it’s gonna be okay. Even if it doesn’t feel okay, in the moment is really important.
Kylie Ota 22:29
Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, even like, just how we process in, and when it’s the emotional piece, the mental piece, when we’re dealing with the money too, you know, like, we’ve talked a lot about emotional spending. And I think that’s the biggest thing around grief and money is where we have to be cognizant of what emotion we’re in at the moment, you know, because you could be in an elated moment, and you’re like, “oh, my gosh, I should buy this because this reminds me of her.”
And of course, it’s worth it. Because I want to remember her, there are so many little holes I can just kind of erode at your money, you know. And like there’s so many random purchases that come with grief as well.
I mean, or just in the death process, or you have to buy caskets you have to buy and if you don’t have life insurance to cover those things, like where are you going to pull it from? You know, I mean, when she was young, she wasn’t anticipating dying at the age of 45. But, you know, she was covered by life insurance.
This is only a God thing. She was in the military. But she’s in the National Guard, but she was on active duty orders. So because she was on orders, the military paid for all of the hospital things.
And she got connected to the Wounded Warrior Project. And they covered everything that wasn’t covered by the hospital. So she was kind of in and out of the hospital towards the end. You know, so when she would come home, they got her an oxygen machine.
And it was all covered by the Wounded Warrior Project and like the hospice nurses and whatever, I don’t know which part covered it all. But between the two between TRICARE and Wounded Warrior, the family doesn’t have to pay a dime. Yeah. So it’s just, I know that’s more of the right defense.
But having a lot of times as entrepreneurs we focus on offense, offense, offense. Making more money, making more money, but if you added up all of her, like there’s no way that wouldn’t have made enough money. And you probably know a lot of people who are in medical debt, right?
Their student loan debt that is enormous and people are trying to get out from under that. Are there are like business debt like that I have and you and I work through but business debt that we’re trying to pay off and we feel like we can’t get through them sometimes. And there’s medical debt. Oh, you have a story about medical debt. I forgot that we have several stories about medical debt.
The Power of Life Insurance in Grief Management
Aimee Cerka 25:26
But yes, we do. But you know, background being in insurance, like the life insurance conversation is one that we would have, like all the time, and it’s like the curse of insurance. You might have heard of the curse of coaching, like where you know, too much.
Okay, the curse of insurance, you never feel like you have enough insurance. Okay, so it’s been like this feel that I’ve worked at for the past? How long have I been out now? Like, it’s okay, we don’t need as much.
But yeah, I can’t tell you how many conversations we would have about like, Okay, this needs to be played in place. It doesn’t matter. Like there’s not a “too young” for insurance.
And actually, this is actually bad, I really meant to do it on all of them. But Williams is the only one that has it. But my boss, his daughter was diagnosed neuroblastoma, I think is what it was a form of cancer at like, six months old. So because the state farmers who I worked with have really great policies called a 20 Pay policy.
So it’s a whole life policy. And when you take it out on a child, you can do, what’s the name of the rider, there’s a rider that’s like, I don’t know, cents on the dollar that you can add on that at certain major milestones in their life, I want to say it’s like 1830. Like, it’s specific numbers.
You can purchase more life insurance, like automatically, there’s no medical renewal needed. But because he had purchased that policy and added that on there, she now has life insurance. Now, thankfully, like the cancer is gone, and she’s been cancer-free.
But it’s much harder to get that insurance now. Most places wouldn’t be right you having cancer in the past where it was something that they took up took care of before. And then you’ve got like the stay at home mom, well, if you’re staying home, mom, they’re not bringing any income in.
Well, you might be like, I have my side business. I’m not bringing any like major income in I’m just staying home like I don’t need life insurance like well, what happens if you’re gone? Like who takes care of your kids?
We used to always talk to the guys was like, “Do you want your wife to have to get remarried right away?” Like if you’re gone like, “No, we need to be properly insured.”
And like having conversations, and this is something that like I geek out about, obviously. So if you’re wondering, like I love talking about this, like just send me a message if you have enough insurance, because it’s so important. And it makes such a difference.
And that is one of the things like that has the fighting that happens over money. Like when you take care of the money. That doesn’t happen.
There was a study done, oh, it was probably six, seven years ago, that like 90% of people are counting on when winning the lottery, and inheritance or a lawsuit to be able to retire. So like, I needed to screenshot your face, though. So like we’re counting on, like somebody who’s growing up winning the lottery, or somebody dying, like with enough money, and that I think causes so many of the arguments. And if we have the money thing figured out, and whatever you might get from an inheritance is just a bonus. It’s not going to cause all of those fights.
Kylie Ota 28:37
Right? Right. And different types of money are subject to different taxes. So that’s what you have to understand as well. Like I’m not a tax professional, like none of us are, we are not financial professionals. But I worked with one. And he explained the difference.
Okay, you can take money from here, because right when I moved from full-time employment to full time entrepreneurship, I was like, you know, there’s a dip in income that happens is let’s just be honest. Right?
And so we went over some of the money options that I had. And he was like, “Well, you could do this, you could do that. But you shouldn’t like touch this,” because the when you’re talking about insurance, right, we had a whole life policy.
So I was able to pull from the cash. Reserves. Yeah, evidence. Yeah. And I was like, oh, like, I didn’t know that. That was a thing. You know, I’m just like, Here, take my money, because I need to put it somewhere.
Preparing for Grief Triggers: A Financial Perspective
Aimee Cerka 29:49
And I want to talk so poorly about whole life insurance, but I have to tell you, if you look at like my investment portfolio, my whole life insurance is performing a lot better, a lot more consistent than like buy stock market investments right now just saying like, it’s there and you have it and like, just, it’s not necessarily all bad.
And then there’s also I don’t even know if you know this or not, there’s a module in the academy that talks about, like how to protect some of these things. Because of course, I’m not a financial adviser. But there’s some things that you can put in place. That’s like, “hey, making sure things, bypass probate so that your loved ones do get the money.”
And it doesn’t have to be necessarily all tax and even like, there’s stuff with houses, and we have some things that are set up to be willed one way in the family, and it does not make sense from a tax perspective at all.
But you know, it’s not my place. But you’d have to ask these questions like, okay, “is this the best thing to do? Or are there better options, to be able to make sure if you want your loved ones to be able to truly have something, set it up in a way that they’ll actually get something? Not that they’ll have to fight?”
Kylie Ota 31:06
Oh, that’s the worse, right? When things end up in probate, and you get like, half of what you’re supposed to get parts of my heart. Hmm. Yeah. And I’ve been on that end, right. Like some of my older family members who have passed.
Case in point, right, my great grandmother had a funeral plan. But it was so outdated, it didn’t cover anything. By the time she died. She was 96 years old when she died.
Oh, so, um, no total transparency, I was going through a divorce at the time. So I had taken money, I took out a loan on my 401k to pay for the lawyers, and I had some extra. So I use the extra because you can’t pay it back.
You either have to pay it back in full or you have to keep making your installments. Right? And I was like, Well, I just got this carrier sitting around. And I paid for the burrito fees and things like you know, the things that you don’t think about when people die.
And everyone was like, Oh my gosh, because I’m the great grandchild. Okay, I’m the oldest great grandchild. So we just put it that way. And I was gosh, oh my gosh, you know, you and I were talking about this the other day, I think I was I was not even 30 years old yet.
But I had my two children, like my second was born when I was 22. And I had a townhouse. And, you know, like I was putting it, I’ll say financially mature for my age, because I was around a lot of people who had more financial maturity. So I learned about money from a young age, right?
When I got hired into my company, I was 20 years old. And then I was around all of these retire, or soon to be retirees that were like, max out your 401K. Do this, do that.
But like telling me about all those blind sides that I wouldn’t have known about as a 20 year old kid, you know, and my ex-husband was also on insurance before we met. So he was telling me about the rule of 72. And I got a lot of financial education from him.
So like, you know, there’s always a silver lining and everything, right. But yeah, you know, just understanding how money works, can just reduce your stress, especially when you’re dealing with end of life thing. Can you imagine, right?
My friend’s husband having like, “Okay, we’ll deal with this now. But, okay, I know, I’m gonna be having an insurmountable debt for the rest of my life, because my wife had cancer.” Yeah, that’s a lot of pressure.
And I’m sure that probably would have put a lot of pressure on my friend, had she not had access to, like, whatever she wanted, as far as treatment goals, you know, like, having to nickel and dime, like, “Oh, should I choose this treatment or that treatment?” Like “Which one can I actually afford?” Like, “ah, it’s just so many decisions that we have to make around money.”
And when you have that peace of mind that you’re covered, you know, like, when you go through the money checklists, like especially the end of month checklist that I need to get on, be better about, but you know, like, understanding where your money is going, what you’re spending it on, and how much you have in reserves, how much you have in, you know, for fun money, you know, or blow money, right?
Like, just having those buckets, this really make you feel so supported. And you can make your decisions a lot easier that way. You’re not going to have decision fatigue. You’re not going to like “how much does Peter get how much does Paul get?”
Okay, Paul, how much do you have to pay back to Peter and Peter how much you’re gonna have to pay back to Paul? And you know, just swishing your money around because you can’t make ends meet?
Which some people may be dealing with right now, or especially in that time of grief or loss, because when you’re going through your loss of the miscarriage, right, there were medical bills that were involved. And then it’s like, okay, yeah, I’m dealing with all of this now. And that’s also part of the grief, right?
Knowing that you had the loss, but yet seeing this bill come every month to pay up this thing. It’s like, that’s another trigger that you can avoid, too.
Yeah, yeah, I just, I found a Christmas card as a bookmark in a book I was reading yesterday from my friend who passed. So it’s like the triggers will come out of the blue, you’ll never know when they’re going to hit so. But you can control the triggers that you have, by having your money in place.
And not to say that you are you need to have this in place. It’s just we’re just trying to help you alleviate the amount of triggers that you’re exposed to. So that your nervous system doesn’t have to process each and every one of them. Especially when you’re like grief, plus money, or debt.
Aimee Cerka 36:26
It’s like just being prepared. So when that you are triggered, you can handle it and not go into that burnout or overwhelm wherever that extreme reaction would be for you and just being able to use the word regulate. Think that’s word we were talking about last week. Yes. So just being able to regulate when they do come up.
Kylie Ota 36:50
Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh.
Aimee Cerka 36:54
Okay, so this was awesome, because I knew it would be.
Kylie Ota 36:58
Um, okay, I know we touched everything.
Aimee Cerka 37:00
I think we did. We did get for anybody that wants to connect with you. Why don’t you share how to connect with you? Because this is going on both of our podcasts. So we’re both gonna sign off here.
Connect with Kylie
Kylie Ota 37:11
Yeah. So again, my name is Kylie Ota, I am your Burnout Coach for Entrepreneurs. You can catch me at my website, of course, kylieota.com. It’s K-Y-L-I-E-O-T-A.com.
And I also have a podcast, The Burnt Out Entrepreneur, you can catch me on Spotify, Apple wherever you listen to podcasts. And yeah, I also have a burnout archetype quiz, which is what I was referring to earlier. There are four different personality types that I take you through.
And so you take the quiz, you get a readout of what your personality type is, and how to deal with burnout. According to your archetypes, even with money even with grief. Like Aimee was on my podcast, we talked about money and archetypes.
And each person deals with money differently. Each person deals with grief differently. Each person deals with burnout differently. So it’s not a one size fits all.
Just like with Aimee’s program. There’s not a one size fits all, there is a specific protocol. But according to your personality type, like how do you like to do things like maybe you need to have a different, like, amount of money in your blow money fund because you are like, you know, spontaneous and you want to go on trips and you want to do those things. But you can have those things if you need them.
So anyway, it’s called burnoutarchetypequiz.com you can go get your personality type and just see how it relates to your journey and entrepreneurship and how to protect yourself from burnout according to your personality type. Yeah.
Connect with Me
Aimee Cerka 38:49
And of course, my name is Aimee Cerka, I am the Money Confidence Coach for the female entrepreneur who’s looking to make money simple. And you can catch me on my website, aimeecerka.com, has all the resources but I love to hang out on Instagram, @aimeecerka, A-I-M-E-E-C-E-R-K-A.
And of course, I have my podcast as well. It’s called Your Money Your Life. Brand new Unlock Your Cash Flow Calculator, which isn’t even available online yet. So if you want to check that out.
It’s 12 Simple questions to help you figure out what you need to tweak to truly unlock your cash flow potential as an entrepreneur, just send me a message on Instagram that says “calculator” and I will get that to you. I think that’s it for now. We’ll see you next time guys. Bye bye.
Special Gift For You
Aimee Cerka 39:50
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